Boardwalker

4/4/09

Boardwalker

Walking down the same boardwalk all my life each plank seems to know it’s me.

Tide in and out, in and out . It copies my footsteps.

People, faces, the same I’m held captive by the inane

Boardwalker is my fame

 

This is my perception of a kid in the boardwalk fishing town of Pelican who didn’t fit in.

The big who am I question? Where do I belong in this whacky world? What am I destined to do or be? I can see value in me even if others cannot. I am more than what I’m not doing with my life. Is there a place where I fit? Are there people who see me as I see myself?

 

To most they would say this person has low self esteem, they need to just hoist their breeches and get into the program. But what is interesting is that these same thoughts and feelings happen to those people as well.

 

Were we created with a built in desire to be known, valued, and useful?

Yes

We were made in GODS image and he is these things, he is all knowing and to be valued above all else he is creative and the creator of all that is.

 

And love, isn’t it a curious creation of GOD for in it are all these things.

“GOD is love”       “ make love your aim”   “ do all things in love”  “ love one another”

 

In High School, when I was lonely oh how I desired to be loved. I ached to be thought as special.

Oh I knew that GOD loved me , my parents loved me, but what I wanted was the choice of my heart desire that pretty girl in choir class only she would and could fill this empty heart of mine.

GOD being the gentleman that he is never barked” what am I chopped liver?”

And so in the years to come I searched to be me in my own strength which just led to more  dust in the wind. But along the way with each trial and hurt I started to see this Heavenly Father that was there all along, and the more time I spent with him. The more he showed me who I was.

My trials allowed me to get more of him. To see that I am known, I am valued in fact for GOD to not value me he would have to not value himself.

Now I see how I am in him and he is in me.

Who am I?

 my value is not who I AM BUT WHO I AM ASSOCIATED,COUPLED,LINKED, RELATED TO , GOD

 

My life is not my own I have been bought with a price. Oh how sweet to be not my own.

It’s a no brainer that I’d rather be AnneBeths husband than just ted. Who she is, is far greater than what I am. How much so being GOD’s kid.

GOD said if you draw near to me I will draw near to you.

 

You are always as close to GOD as you desire to be.

 

Stand tall in courage for who you are, a child of GOD make the demons tremble for there is no one like our Jehovah