A Pastor's Prayer

On a sky canvas of light blue , GOD stroked long white clouds for this morning.
A chapter ,,,,ending Sunday ,,for our retiring Pastor.

To him I would imagine way too long in coming in some ways
and way too fast in others. Our Pastor, arrives at the church.

He will go and open doors, test the mikes, make sure communion items are ready.
He will sit in his chair, and go over who will be doing what for the service.
And every small thing will be magnified as if it was being printed in his mind never to be forgotten.

Time regards not the significance and soon people come with the small talk and he ducks away to pray to his Heavenly Father who is and has been every sense of faithful all these Sunday mornings.
Amen he walks out the study door with his ink to writes on the hearts of his sheep for the last time of this chapter.

Looking out at his flock he is stirred deep, these dear ones,, so loved by his Father he desires so much all that GOD has for them.

He prays
"Lord show them your face, Show them , that to you, because of your son they are perfect, beautiful .

Father may they see that they are sinless to you because you love and see them through your son's shed blood.
Lord may they see how each is your treasured joy
how each precious person here was a part of your heart and plan before you put the first star in place.

Jesus with all my heart thank you for because of your love my sheep one day will know in full all my heart yearns for them for.

Jesus for all these years thank you, Thank you for your spirit that has kept and loved us. Thank you for communion time where we worshipped you.
Now Lord I am ready my heart is set in you, Your next assignment awaits me, but always I will carry and be here too.

Lord in all you be glorified today! and thank you Amen


Prayer

Jesus it will take eternity to celebrate your gift of the cross, it will take eternity to understand all it means.
It will be eternity with you.
Father we give our lives to you. May we see ourselves the way you see us, loved , fully known and perfectly accepted because of your son. Amen

Desiring and Doing

Desiring and doing meet on the road of today,
the hot midday dust of tomorrow wears already in my heart.
It’s time to take a hold of another part of myself that previously hasn’t held on.
I have it not in myself,
the walk only he can lead,
if I but follow.
Looking back brings no hope,
so I settle on He who is hope ,
to guard and shore up the sand of who I am , with the rock of Himself.

I go to trust, to lean, to live out a truth and that is so weak and vapor thin, half a wisp vanishes it.
But it is here now in my hand the butterfly of this road.
I trust him to stay, and be apart of me of my desire.

Sons of Valor

Heaven's Sons of Valor will be there, clad in armor of Christ's brilliant righteousness.
With the same blood of courage, fearless we will rumble the ground of heaven.
In honor as men who knows the value of Valor we will sing strong, brave, sinless
and awestruck of our own participation in him.
II SAM 2:7
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Half Minded

Half minded dumbskull is what we be, living apart from the King.
Half minded, self minded, now we're a third minded numskull.
Flip flapping christian words apart from Him is not the same as
being with him. Apart is apart.
Shared minded with his spirit is the balance which brings peace to your heart.
Remember we are to minister to GOD.
We do this by obedience to what we know and am shown what is right in real time with him.
In return we will see it is far more for you from him than you could ever do for yourself.

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Hush your Heart

The Ancient of times sings of his love for me.

All of my promises I cover you.
See they are in you deep never to be snatched.
For I love my dear one.

Hush your heart it is safe in my spirit.

Hushed in holiness his music covers me.
I give him my heart to live.

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Rest In His Will

To rest in his will, that I see for today.
What peace and permission.
Living free of tomorrows fears.
and enjoy his chosen way.

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The Audience of GOD

The Audience of GOD
Is the one place I am totally me.
Free from pushifications and cleverness.
I am just me!
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Bar Tender Missionary

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
not pouring drinks of myself,not asked of me.

Wait for the order,the drink of their request,
so the Father's spirit can accurately bless.

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
the type that listens to customer needs,
instead of my glorious past deeds.

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
to follow the lead of the shepherd,
and the light and life he brings.

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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

My Memorial weekend thought I enjoyed from an email I was sent.

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER
Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the Sentinels of the Third United States Infantry Regiment "Old Guard"
Q: How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?
A: 21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.
Q: How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
A: 21 seconds, for the same reason as answer number 1.
Q: Why are his gloves wet?
A: His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.
Q: Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time, and if not, why not?
A: No, he carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.
Q: How often are the guards changed?
A: Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.
Q: What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
A: For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30".
Other requirements of the Guard:
They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. They cannot swear in public FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.
After TWO YEARS, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.
The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.
The first SIX MONTHS of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame. Every guard spends FIVE HOURS A DAY getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
The Sentinels Creed:
My dedication to this sacred duty is total and wholehearted. In the responsibility bestowed on me never will I falter. And with dignity and perseverance my standard will remain perfection. Through the years of diligence and praise and the discomfort of the elements, I will walk my tour in humble reverence to the best of my ability. It is he who commands the respect I protect. His bravery that made us so proud. Surrounded by well meaning crowds by day alone in the thoughtful peace of night, this soldier will in honored glory rest under my eternal vigilance.
More Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknowns itself:
The marble for the Tomb of the Unknowns was furnished by the Vermont Marble Company of Danby, Vt. The marble is the finest and whitest of American marble, quarried from the Yule Marble Quarry located near Marble, Colorado and is called Yule Marble. The Marble for the Lincoln memorial and other famous buildings was also quarried there.
The Tomb consists of seven pieces of rectangular marble: Four pieces in sub base; weight Â- 15 tons;
One piece in base or plinth; weight Â- 16 tons;
One piece in die; weight Â- 36 tons;
One piece in cap; weight Â- 12 tons;
Carved on the East side (the front of the Tomb, which faces Washington, D.C.) is a composite of three figures, commemorative of the spirit of the Allies of World War I.
In the center of the panel stands Victory (female).
On the right side, a male figure symbolizes Valor.
On the left side stands Peace, with her palm branch to reward the devotion and sacrifice that went with courage to make the cause of righteousness triumphant.
The north and south sides are divided into three panels by Doric pilasters. In each panel is an inverted wreath.
On the west, or rear, panel (facing the Amphitheater) is inscribed:
HERE RESTS IN HONORED GLORY AN AMERICAN SOLDIER KNOWN BUT TO GOD
(Interesting Commentary)
The Third Infantry Regiment at Fort Myer has the responsibility for providing ceremonial units and honor guards for state occasions, White House social functions, public celebrations and interments at Arlington National Cemetery and standing a very formal sentry watch at the Tomb of the Unknowns.
The public is familiar with the precision of what is called "walking post" at the Tomb. There are roped off galleries where visitors can form to observe the troopers and their measured step and almost mechanically, silent rifle shoulder changes. They are relieved every hour in a very formal drill that has to be seen to be believed.
Some people think that when the Cemetery is closed to the public in the evening that this show stops. First, to the men who are dedicated to this work, it is no show. It is a "charge of honor." The formality and precision continues uninterrupted all night. During the nighttime, the drill of relief and the measured step of the on-duty sentry remain unchanged from the daylight hours. To these men, these special men, the continuity of this post is the key to the honor and respect shown to these honored dead, symbolic of all unaccounted for American combat dead. The steady rhythmic step in rain, sleet, snow, hail, heat and cold must be uninterrupted. Uninterrupted is the important part of the honor shown.
Recently, while you were sleeping, the teeth of hurricane Isabel came through this area and tore hell out of everything. We had thousands of trees down, power outages, traffic signals out, roads filled with downed limbs and "gear adrift" debris. We had flooding and the place looked like it had been the impact area of an off-shore bombardment.
The Regimental Commander of the U.S. Third Infantry sent word to the nighttime Sentry Detail to secure the post and seek shelter from the high winds, to ensure their personal safety.
THEY DISOBEYED THE ORDER!
During winds that turned over vehicles and turned debris into projectiles, the measured step continued. One fellow said "I've got buddies getting shot at in Iraq who would kick my butt if word got to them that we let them down. I sure have no intention of spending my Army career being known as the idiot who couldn't stand a little light breeze and shirked his duty." Then he said something in response to a female reporters question regarding silly purposeless personal risk... "I wouldn't expect you to understand. It's an enlisted man's thing." God bless the rascal... In a time in our nation's history when spin and total b.s. seem to have become the accepted coin-of-the-realm, there beat hearts - the enlisted hearts we all knew and were so proud to be a part of - that fully understand that devotion to duty is not a part-time occupation. While we slept, we were represented by fine men who fully understood their post orders and proudly went about their assigned responsibilities unseen, unrecognized and in the finest tradition of the American Enlisted Man. Folks, there's hope. The spirit that George S. Patton, Arliegh Burke and Jimmy Doolittle left us ... survives.
On the ABC evening news, it was reported recently that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabel approaching Washington, DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They refused. "No way, Sir!"
Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment; it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.
Very, very proud of our soldiers in uniform

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To live for something larger than myself. To value life and the creator of it.

To hold and live in gratefulness instead flying by it with highway speed.

There is an account where a battle ship was sinking and the 3 or 4 Chaplains were scrambling trying to help the soldiers when they realized there were not enough life jackets for all the men.

The 4 Chaplain's gave their life jackets to the next 4 men they met. Knowing full well it meant their death.

The Chaplain's held each other as they drowned in the oily sea.

"Greater Love has no man that he lay down his life for another."

These Chaplain's knew they were going home to heaven and they wanted to allow 4 men the opportunity to do the same.

Sunshine, barbecues, camping at the beach, a day off work. That's fine, but along with it, how about a few moments of grateful prayers for the price paid both on the battle field and on the cross.

Devotion to duty is not a part time occupation.

Come see It is I !!

Come sit and see it is I.
How I care, I laugh, How I handle the serious stuff.

Come see it is I.
How deep is my love and powerful my courage.
For it is I, who make Lions bold.

It is I, who cracks up in laughter making Giraffes necks so long and
rat fish so ugly.

It is I, that gave you the mind you have to build tree houses and catch pollywog's in the spring.
And it is I who nudged your Grandpa to give you his jack knife.
It is I who brought that wisp of air to lift your kite to the sky.

Tell me was it not I, who turned that Norwegian girl's eye your way?
And now after all these years blesses you every day.

It is I, that gave you the man of your father and the love of your mother.

It was your Father in Heaven I, who was there for your tears, and carried you through all these years.

It is I, this day, this moment for you, always.

Toolbox Of Truths

Here is a collection of truths I picked up along the way from various sources and my own experience.

TOOLBOX OF TRUTHS

We were designed to live for others and not just for self.

To trust in him and not our self .

I have nothing to prove, nothing to loose. My worth is in Christ.

I can take risks of his design.

I will never leave you or reject you.

I will always love you.

Young people can do a lot, if they are allowed to.

GOD sometimes gives himself without the help of man.

It was his death not his strength that his kingdom was established.

My broken places are my life places .

Truths that I learned in the dark , was when I stood still enough to hear his whisper of life.

To see his authority, and receive from him his encouragement,to see that regardless of life's circumstances, he is able.

GOD will bring people to you to help.

A man will do the opposite of what he feels like doing.

Trust GOD to take care of people you care so deeply for.

The less choices you make a part from GOD the less fear you will have about the future.

GOD is in all that touches you.

GOD enjoys fishing, hiking, go karts, presents, great food, laughing.

GOD is as close as you want him to be.

The more you look at who you are in Christ the more you will find out about yourself.

GOD delights in the small things of your everyday.

In order to trust, you have to trust. Faith is taking a sure bet risk.

GOD is GOD, not some genie or imaginary friend. Seeing that he is boss is the beginning of being wise.

Somethings you will not know until heaven. But GOD has not left you comfortless.

when it comes to loving someone, open rebuke is better than not knowing.

GOD created me in his mind before he ever created the earth.

GOD knows me better than I know myself.

GOD never calls me a failure.

We are always given the choice to forgive or live with bitterness.

Be aware of unbroken intellect in your life.

To see my strength as weakness and use GODs strength is what it is, to be a man.

GOD reassures us that we are known, loved, and we can endure, more than gives specific directions to our circumstances. It's a part, of us, following by faith the Shepherd.

Happiness is on his terms, in him, not on my own. To not relieve my own unhappiness but go to Christ and drink deep from the happiness in him.

Beware of the pride of social smoothness.

To call out life and beauty in others.

I want my life story, to read in spite of all my failures, fears, confusions, trials, I trusted GOD,

Not so super villian, Ughly Man

I suspect every one has a situation that tends to brings out the sinful side. For me it's driving in congested traffic. I shock myself in how quickly I can become ugly. Yesterday the Friday before Memorial weekend and here I am in Tacoma, this is the third session of bumper to bumper traffic and it is only 1 PM .
People are cutting in and just being stupid and I feel my temperature rising. After informing the latest driver that he is a Bozo, something I'm sure came as no surprise to him.
I look and lying in the passenger seat next to me asleep is both of our 2 small dogs. Gracie raises one eye because I'm expounding my intimate expressions, but Ruthie just sleeps.
The scene reminds me of what my mom once said, "I would be a pretty nice person if it wasn't for you kids."

I figure if I am this ugly, I have used up all of my goodness, so I say "your patience Lord, your Love".

And instantly chariots of fire clear a path for me and I am escorted by beautiful angels.
OK so maybe it doesn't go quite that way, but what does take place is I draw from GOD's ability, his patience, his love. And if my attitude is really ugly I start thanking GOD for all my blessingss.
Sounds like a formula, oh it is , GOD so desires us to use him and live in him.

Pondering the fragrance of GOD

It is said that 70% of what you taste is by what you smell. I don't know if that is true for I love ice cream and it doesn't have a noticeable fragrance.
I do like those mystery smells that ignite some memory that you can't quite recall, but you know that smell was a part of it.
Farm smells do it for me. Fresh cut grass, or the dusty fragrances of summer. There is the smell of the first rain after a hot summer. And the new smell of spring.
Up in our home in Alaska the muskeg and vegetation give huge bouquets of fragrances.
I have childhood connections with certain smell like carrots pulled from the ground. There's just something about the dirt and carrot combo you can't find in the market.

Truths from GOD are like those smells. It is definitely a part of who he is, but not the whole thing.
They are the foretaste of what will be when we sit at the great wedding banquet table.

Have you ever thought about the fragrance of GOD? Will fragrances have colors as well in heaven?

My wife enjoyed so much a book she read about acceptable sacrifices, did you ever consider our gifts of who we are, a fragrance to GOD, much like the incense is symbolic of our prayers?

I reckon GOD might of called me a little stinker before, but a lot of other people have done that as well.

My earthly father had a distinct fragrance, it wasn't bad , it was him.
My heavenly Father has a distinct fragrance about himself and it is everywhere. Behold the GOD of all fragrances.

Don't Let Daffy Duck Stupid Rob You

To the one who knows , it's the father.
To others, it's a little bit out there.
But it is, GOD, revealing himself,
and anyone trying to put you down
what GOD has shown himself to be to you,
is Daffy Duck stupid.
GOD reveals himself of his choosing and design.
receive and accept it .
For his gifts will stretch you to mountain top highs
and soul deep seas.
Upon the spirit of his delight, painting sunsets in the skies,
it is his untouched meadows of himself, the gift he gives to you.

Abundantly More Than We Could Ever Imagine

This single day there was:

fog on the water

baby grizzly bear

beautiful blue skies

seals and sea lions

spin casting for salmon

rock fish contest

The smell of camping and Forrest

still waters

Then in the last 10 minutes of this last day
a 16 year old boy catches a 112 pound halibut

Dad whooping and hollering

Boy grunting reeling in such a large fish

All the "it's huge" comments

then the many dead fish pictures

cleaning the fish, cleaning the boat

Bowl of AnneBeth's great clam chowder
and fresh bread

packing fish

exhausted and grateful

all in one day

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In Alaska I have had some incredible glory unto glory wonderful days.
And what makes them so special is the wonderful friends I have experienced them with.
There is Ken and Joe, George and Jack, Annebeth, Wanda, Sandra. Incredible adventures in pristine enchantingly wild hidden worlds of South East Alaska.
I so wish, I could recall the memories better.
But what does remain is the love and respect for those guys I lived it with.
And the knowledge that these guys will be with me when together we do the big adventures upstairs.
Stay Tuned , Eye has not seen or ear heard all GOD has in store for us upstairs.

I Get To Sit

I get to sit in joyful delight.
I get to sit and just let time go by.
The clicking of second hand,'
go ahead and click away.
I get to sit and enjoy this moment
this particular way.
La, de, da, de, da,
hummmy,hum, hum, he.
For just this moment it's wasted time for me.

A Time Like Now

With no direction of thought
I am with my I AM.

A time to enjoy the ease of mind,
and have not the need to move.

A time for myself and the Spirit of GOD within.

To rest in the still waters of HIM.

Waiting

9 years old, Christmas Eve afternoon about 4:00. I walk around and around on the rockery that circles the Italian prune tree in the front yard. My sole purpose is to make time go by faster so I can get to open Christmas gifts. The fulfillment of dreams come true.

The power goes out, the house is cold, the food in the freezer is thawing and only cold water. We wait it's day 4 and powerless to change any of it.

Sitting in the back of the classroom next to the radiator by the window, on a May afternoon this Junior Higher is tired of waiting. There are forts to build, fish to catch, adventures to take. He looks at the clock again and groans.

Soo very sick, sitting in a chair too sick to think clearly. The far recesses of my mind remind me, 13 more days until the operation and healing can begin. Until then, I sit between layers of time waiting.

Will I get to see her? Will this be the day? Love fulfilled her declaring she likes me too?

In the dentist chair, body rigid as the drilling and scraping goes on and on, on my teeth.
The reverberating drill sound and the annoyance of gag. It makes time drag forever.

Waiting for test results from the MRI. Thoughts prophesying what life will be like if the prognosis is bad. Half my heart preparing for sorrow, Half my heart hanging onto hope. I wait valuing the moments that I still don't know.

He who orchestrates time knows all too well, us who are subject to it.
He knows the waiting is also the fulfillment as much as the fulfillment.
Look how much is being done while we are waiting to see him face to face.

Pelican Alaska Goodbye

Quiet warm goodbyes of good people that care,
weave in deep my parting of Pelican by ferry.

Eyes that say I care, you matter, touch the cockles of my heart
on this unusual warm day.

Heading south for home, ancient snow spotted mountains
assure me they will be there when I return.

Distant patches of blue, framed in white clouds
foreshadow adventures to come.

The dark green water slides by and the slight breeze
returns Pelican memories, my heart will never forget.

I look deep into forests of hidden life untouched,
except for the pleasure of it creator.
The sea as well lives to the same dictates of the one who loves.

Looking out over the light green of the river flats,
guarded by seagulls on the shore.
Streams dark with salmon, instinctively know it's
August and time to head home.

Goodbye my dear friend Ken you and your family I always carry in my heart.
We have laughed some wonderful fish aboard,
that has kept us connected while even apart.

Goodbye, board games, guys against the girls.
Dunngie crabs, AnneBeth rolls, along with Joe's latest smoked creation,
tiny veggies from the garden and delectable desserts and more.
Gives plenty of memories to return to these shores.

Goodbye, golf kart rides at sunset or sitting on the deck
watching boats come into town.

Goodbye, heart felt handshakes, and potluck lunches after church.

Goodbye, little town of pelican your soul and feet
boardwalked to the sea.

Goodbye, rhythm and wonder of Pelican, you are carried deep in me.

Broken back snake

At the foot of Mount Rainer near the town of Mineral out in the toolies lies Pleasant Valley Christian Camp. Once a small sawmill, it was purchased and used as a camp.

In the early years, all they had was big old army tents, and I remember sleeping in a partially refurbished chicken coop.

Now they have all sorts of accommodations complete with a swimming pool.

Camp for me was great, it provided a new audience to ply all my shenanigans on, and I was quite skillful in acting stupid right up to the point of getting kicked out.

It was at this particular time when the adult population was losing their sense of cherishing me that broken back snake saved my hide.

At camp, there was a dandy stream that even sported very small trout and being I was, way, past done doing little group activities, I decided to explore the downstream regions of this fine stream.

Now every kid knows the further you go the better the adventure gets, and I had gone a considerable distance when I came across a fellow camper sitting on a rock looking completely bummed out.

His name was Norman I think, he had a flat liner personality, and so he didn't fit in all that well with the other campers. In fact, he had been trying for two days to get the adults to let him go home.

But this was in the old days where kids didn't get sent home, in fact, I'm not sure they even had a telephone at the camp.

Regardless Norman had traveled the way of the stream to find his place to be miserable, when I stumbled upon him.

After talking to him and hearing his story, I tried to cheer him up. I showed him a Gardner snake with a broken back I'd found and was carrying in my pocket to use later at a more opportune occasion.

Norman gave the snake a different value, he was fascinated in having a pet, and it being a snake was way cool to him.

I told him all sorts of snake stories, and he ate it up. To me a broken back snake was not good for anything but a prank on girls. But to Norman it was a gift from GOD sent from heaven above.{city kids are a little different}

So I gave it to him, and he had the time of his life with his new snake.

We wandered back to camp, and as we got closer we met the adults who had come looking for us.

With a considerable amount of embellishment of the truth, I convinced them, I knew of their concern for Norman and went to find him.

They could see Norman's spirits were high, and they praised me for helping him out.

I down played it and certainly didn't reveal the huge role Broken Back Snake had in Norman's new found happiness.

Norman did great the rest of the week, and I didn't get kicked out, just warned several times.

The snake was worthless to me, but made all the difference to Norman.

We serve a GOD that specializes in taking the things that are not and using them greatly.

So maybe there is hope for me, because I am the one with the broken back now.

New Dreams

There is nothing more rotten than working, pouring concrete. I was about 16 or 17 and Dad had to put in exposed aggregate sidewalks for a whole development before the bank would give him more money. Therefore brother Chris and I poured concrete and set forms everyday for a whole summer. To this day the feel of scraping form boards and digging foundations with pick and shovel hold no love for me.
What made things worst was Dad couldn't pay us anything until the end of summer.
What kept me going day after day was my dream to have my own motorcycle.
The one I wanted was an enduro 250 which was a 1/2 off road 1/2 street bike.
I had already put thousands of miles on the bike with my imagination. In fact on the way home from church sitting in the back of the old station wagon I would imagine myself flying along on my bike.
The day finally came when we got paid, I had located a bike in Seattle to buy.
I asked Dad for a ride to the ferry dock and on the way he asked what was I going to do in Seattle? so I told him about the bike and he said No.
My heart died a million deaths how could a person be so incredibly mean and uncaring?
Fine I said as I got out of the car and ran down the dock ramp to the boat. I'll show you.
And for the next 3 days I spent all my summers money foolishly.
At the end I had a few new clothes for school a watch I bought at a pawn shop and some fun memories of living high on the hog. But my bike dream died.

It would be more years of dead dreams before I would discover that GOD has dreams for me of his design, and it isn't until I let my dreams die that I would have eyes to see his.
ted in my word I have said over and over I am your inheritance, can you now see that the word inheritance can be changed to dream? In me are a zillion motorcycle size dreams come true and my off road adventures stretches to the end of eternity.

Toby and Susie Cupcake

Every Summer for the last couple years I would write a story for the one or two young teens that attended church. I happened to find a copy of such a story and throw it in for fun.



Toby Listened From a hidden position outside the city hall window.
For there was no way a room full of State patrol Officers would let a fourteen year old teenager in on rescuing the beautiful Susie cupcake. Who was Toby’s true love being held hostage by 3 bad, gnarly dudes in the last house up past Tom and Minnie’s.
Toby listened as they made plans for an all side’s assault including launching shells from a homeland security boats. But for now they had to wait until a sergeant flew in from Juneau and the fog was thick.
Stuffed shirts and biggy wiggys, Toby thought, by the time they get their act together his beautiful Susie Cupcake will be shot and the Bad guys gone.
Not to mention the mess they will leave in the house, and Toby knew all too well the woman who lived there and she don’t cotton to messy bad guys.
Well, Toby said to himself, if it’s got to be done and done right leave it Toby . This he thought as he crawled away from the city Hall fiasco.
Toby made his way to his secret fort where he opened the padlock to an old army foot locker that held his arsenal of needed equipment.
For this mission he would need 3 smoke bombs, 6 sets of 15 firecrackers, 39 bottle rockets taped into sets of 5 and 6 seal bombs. A package of small birthday candles, roll of duct tape,mcgyver knife and a lighter, crammed into his camouflaged ruck sack completed his ensembo.
Jumping on his four wheeler Toby took off to collect some improvised equipment.
First stop the school where he picked up 2 portable tape recorders. Next to Wanda’s clothes line where he grabbed a black shirt and pants that belonged to George.
And last to the fire station where he picked up 2 bull horns.
With all the equipment he needed he went to the telephone booth at the head of the ramp to change .
Into his black ninja outfit thanks to George, it was a little wet and with the help with duct tape he managed to rig them to stay on.
Next to his 4 wheeler where he got a hand full of grease and then to the bathroom at the top of the ramp where he applied the grease to his face.
On the mirror he mapped out his plan of attack.
Sure the bathroom was a greasy mess but he knew Duffy harbor master elite and custodian of the chamber pot would forgive the mess, recognizing that it was all for the good of saving Susie cupcake of pelican.
With plan in mind Toby takes and prepares his arsenal taking the small birthday candles he strips the bottom half of the wax off leaving the wick where he attaches fuses of the fireworks and bottle rockets. Next he yells cop commands onto the tape recorders and last he tapes the triggers of the bull horn to the on position.
Mission ready he takes off.
His first obstacle was the road blocked by the Alaska staters up by the new fuel tanks.
Popping the 4 wheeler in a spin Toby heads back down the hill, goes up past the church past Ken’s and Royce’s and sneaks down the path of the brother’s house.
No one knew this terrain better than Toby he grew up on these bear trails and now even in this dense fog he knew exactly where he was.
On his belly wiggling through fresh bear scat the targeted house now in view.
Toby makes his way to the house setting his explosives, knowing and expecting that at any moment bullets may be flying his way.
Around the house he went trying each window for an entry.
At last lady luck smiled on him as his last window, a bathroom window opened.
Not only was it opened but he could see his heart beat of passion Susie Cupcake gagged and tied to a chair in the living room.
“Those creeps,” Toby thought they are going to pay big time for hurting my Susie cupcake.
And with anger of impending justice and courage of all brave men who have fought before Toby restrains himself.
Checking his watch 3 seconds to detonation, lighting the 3 smoke bombs on short fuses he chucks them to three sides of the house.
And as expected the fire crackers and bottle rockets go off.
He could hear the bad guys breaking the kitchen windows and shooting at their imagined threat.
Toby hoped they wouldn’t hit the tape recorders shouting orders through the bullhorns.
In the midst of this mayhem, holding MacGyver knife in mouth thinking I’m coming Susie cupcake, I’m coming.
Toby opens the bathroom window and dives through head first.
Now even the best of plans has their glitches.
So maybe he hadn’t planned that the bathroom toilette was right under the bathroom window and that the toilette seat was up when he dove head first.
Or that bear scat he was covered with made it extremely difficult to get out.
All I can tell you was,instantly the bad guys were gone, Susie cupcake was gone.
But MOM wasn’t. Instead of a grateful Susie He got the mom with the voice of an angel of death.
What in the blazes are you doing? Get out of that toilette and look what you have done to my freshly painted bathroom, bear scat everywhere.
The house stinks like smoke bombs the dogs is under our bed and your fireworks have caught the fire wood pile on fire and what are you wearing?
All I can say is you better run before I catch you.
So our dejected hero ran for his life. Heading to the garbage dump he thought, this is appropriate I feel in dumps, so I might as well be in one.
Sitting on stump that overlooks the dump, Toby said to GOD” Well here I am, in deep scat once again and like usual there’s no one to help but you.
I never much thought about it GOD, but what if I didn’t have you?
I would be worst off, then I already am,
My friends say I’m weird. They see my goody 2 shoes, do the right thing, be a good church boy.
But hey I’ll take being weird, if I can have you.
They don’t see that it’s more than singing songs, nice people, and good chow after church.
What my friends don’t see is that I have you in me.
And it’s time like this that I really need you.
Our friendship the 2 of us.
GOD you are real, not churchy like they think.
No you make the difference in who I am
The difference that makes us weird.
Hey GOD I think I just called you weird and it’s all right
Besides it’s not like there’s a lot of guys who would hang around a guy dressed in George’s clothes
Held on with duct tape and covered with grease and bear scat.
But you do and you always do.
We may be weird GOD but I’m sticking with you!
Besides Have I told you I love you
I love you for me loving me
And do you think you can do something about me and mom and the mess I made at the house,
no offense but I feel I’m too young to go to Heaven quite yet. If you know what I mean.

8 years old

On my back on the grassy bank of the pond I stare at the white clouds in the blue sky. No pending thoughts for I am 8 years old and there are years before I need to be home for dinner.
Shirt and Shoeless I feel the prickles of the grass and the moisture of the earth as I live beyond myself to my imagination in the sky.
In typical youth abandonment to the moment I stretch my arms wide and imagine I can see the whole earth turning with me on it.
I need nothing else in my mind for I am 8 .

I am now fifty something and only in Christ can I find 8 year old
abandonment to be only what I am this moment without any strings attached.


Who said you have to carry all your carrying?
You told yourself to bolster your self-made importance, you told yourself it was your job.
The motive behind it you justified with nobody cares like you do.
Your reason was for your own pleasure of significance.
Now the burden has worn you out.
When was the last time you felt 8 years old?
I have a lifetime of 8 year old enjoyment planned for you.
Trust me to handle what you deem as important, see if I am not totally able.
Now you, you take my cue when you must act fifty something and when you can be 8 years old.

“Cast your cares on me for I care for you”

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Laid low how low?
Lower than whale poop.
When I have nothing left but GOD, then for the first time, I realize that he is enough. Then I realized he is more than I could ever imagined, and I saw that he gave it to me, for he put me in himself.
I marvel that I can carry HIM who is not hurry, in my hurriedness of life.
To live with a quietness of heart on the inside while the zig zag of life flies around my head like flies.
The heart of who he is, is larger than mine, he makes room for weaknesses I cannot, his mercy is alive and is full of love and light and life.

“Jesus went often alone into the wilderness to pray”

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To him who knows
My house in Pelican Alaska sets away from the view of the busyness of the harbor. We can peek and see a little bit of the water and the snow clad mountains. And the occasional eagle flies by and often the caw of a raven can be heard or a chirp of a chipmunk. But the house is cut off from the rush of Pelican town. There are those who would feel sorry for us not being on the waterfront where we could see more. But the lord knew what we needed. He knew I didn’t need more hurriedness, I needed more of him. Thank you Lord for hemming me in so I could see more of you.

Entrust all who you are, even that which you don’t know is you and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways give him who you are and he will show you “your way in him”

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Gracie is my dog ½ poodle ½ spaniel she has one job and that is to observe everything that happens. Since she doesn’t talk she has fewer distractions from herself to do her job.
She watches every little thing that happens, hears faint little sounds and will let us know about them.
She is the picture of the vigilant GOD toward us, our front and rear guard our alpha and omega. He is, so we don’t have to be.
It is the unlearned art of being a dumb but cherished lamb that doesn’t have to lead but follow. Attentive is the way we should be toward HIM.

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Trust GOD who is at work, I used to think GOD needed my help to be holy.
There is not any good in ted by ted of ted so why not stopnsave myself agony and let GOD be GOD and do his work in me.
Have you ever noticed that he who drives the car cannot enjoy the scenery along the way. Let go Let GOD and you will see what you have missed for so long.
GOD’s expectation is in himself not in me.

Assorted Thoughts

Evangelism is the fun of sharing the most wonderful of wonderfuls to another person.
There are those who share HIM through the way of the head and there are those HIM through the way of the heart and both are of HIM for HIM.

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One of the beautiful gifts GOD has showed me is the incredible world of sounds behind the rush. I call them the under sounds of silence. They orchestrate and paint new vistas with sounds of color I have never saw to see or sat to hear.
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There is a rest in HIM that quietly and tenderly energizes my hurt soul. It allows me to like a child dance and spinning the light of HIMSELF.
IT resurrected a tired dull heart and made it sparkle bright as I listened to bright pop songs of the 60’s&70’s.
Twirling in the light of my father with a mindless delight of just having fun with him is what I look forward to heaven for.
Thank you Lord for the appetizer
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I used to see loss as sorrow
Now I see it as a gift and I am grateful
“And only one came back and thanked him”

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Zeph 3:17 Rest in His LOVE
Where I am sitting the trees in front of me do nothing but grow they respond to life sap within them.

In Him

I used to think I was destined for greatness.
Now I see that greatness is not in greatness, but in HIM. And he invites me to come and get all of HIM I want. Why would I miss out of the zillion fascinating parts of himself for the lame crud of ted.
Wisdom is living in the little’s of HIM and knowing in your heart it is the big!

Peace, from myself

I used to run my mind so hard and fast, I crowded Jesus out. Even if it were for him, about him and to HIM, I wanted my speed, of my mind.
Now after a gazillion times of him not obeying me. I realize I make for a lousy GOD, especially to myself. That in him is peace from myself.
So walk in a manner that guards yourself from self. Trust not your own understanding, allow your heart to be directed by HIM.
Responding your heart, your desire, your love, your significance to him, will allow his power, his courage, his love, his wisdom to live through you

Dreams of my own Design

I used to imagine dreams of my own design.
Now I look to him who is the reality of dreams and marvel at the master of design. And his invitation to live in HIM.

Better than me

When I was younger I chased after the Christian rules thinking that in them I would find life. Only to find that the right, simpler way was to tend to HIM who can take care of me.
Better than me.

Can it be

Can it be that my trying and imagining is not of GOD’s design?
That what I call character flaws in myself could be in part GOD’s intentions?
For example I think by talking while others think and then talk.
I communicate by emotions because I think and look at life with emotions.
I have no problem seeing how my weaknesses in these areas have taken their toll over my life but to value them when held correctly as an attribute is an interesting rediscovery.

It is finished

It is finished
When all the moments connect and the last pull of the ribbon is given
The gift is completed by the words it is finished
Pain that robbed all source of comfort
Demanded love to conquer
Evil that tasted gall to the lips
Was the suffering of his death trip
Dark loneliness that no one cared
By jeering remarks and angry stares
Love for the races with its many faces
In spite of the pain he cared
The pain beyond the insane
That only love could slain
It is finished is what he said
For us new life to begin
We will hear those words again
When the final judgment is given
And all of pain and sin is driven
Never to reappear

Treasure in the dark

From time to time I have come along side those who have been deep in the black night of life. I have had dark nights but there are others who have struggled far more.
I have been asked to explain the dark night trials to those who have not been there. Below is my attempt and my encouragement for light and salvation.
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Treasure in the Dark
Hurt Heart stared at the dying embers caring not that the last of the wood was burning to end.
The dark stone cottage, the cold and the black about him, was the appropriate cloak of his not caring.
Inside Hurt Heart gave his attention into falling deeper into the vortex well of Black.
Black, with soft gentle words of comfort bade him deeper, deeper. The deeper you go more comfort you’ll find. There is incredible freedom from self in free falling, freefall, freefall, freefall you get rest in death. Free from hurt and sorrow from failure from always hurting others. Free from feeling anything, free, free, free-fall all the way, rest in death.
Who really cares? Death is warm and light, it is peace and there are no burdens, it is where you are finally free.
Hurt Heart exhausted of weariness was deep in the well; he could no longer see the top nor cared.
His mind was blurring to its final end, he breathes in what could be the final breath.
But there is one tiny part, one speck in his mind that has to die, the last one until all is done.
The last speck has what’s left of his attention and he laboriously raises one eyebrow to look at it in his mind.
It is a speck of light so distant in his mind he is surprised it even exists,
For what seems like forever Black, layer upon layer has been his comfort, his thoughts, his joy his truth to freedom, peace and love.
Speck who are you?

Why haven’t you left long ago? Can’t you see my love for Black? He has my all.
Curious speck, you are the fly that avoids my swat. and you fear not.
Hurt Heart laughs at the irony that he even desires to contemplate speck as mattering.
So in joy of falling, he falls deeper. But as he falls he notes that speck is still there and changes not in size.
So he stops falling to find out why.
Speck I am amazed that I care about that which I don’t care about.
Why are you the same size? I fell deeper.
And why am I using my last brain cell on you?
Still speck does nothing
Resisting Blacks pull of desire to fall,Hurt Heart tends to specks existence.
Around him all of Blacks comforts surround him. Years of invested heart sorrows are the familiar sofas of his familiar Black.
But why speck?
How can I care about what I don’t care about?
Why does speck care about being here?
It is then that Hurt Heart realizes though not knowing how, that speck has always been there.
So Speck, you are my final cobweb of my final curtain call, I didn’t expect you, but I suppose there has to be a last one.
I give, who are you? What are you?
Again he knows he knowsm yet doesn’t know why he knows, or how he knows why he knows or really what he knows.
His head spinning around some goulash of she sells seashells at the seashore and caring about that which he doesn’t care Hurt Heart slows the fall and thinks,
how can I know that speck knows?
Why does speck care to be with me even though I fall away from him?
There is slight movement in the dark that gets Blacks attention.
It is the heart of Hurt Heart turning slightly to speck.
First surprise, then fear, then anger, grips Black, but he has been here before and is wise enough not to change anything for that will just amplify speck.
Feeding low subliminal words he backgrounds a pleasing falling, falling, falling.
Hurt Heart pushes Speck away but Speck moves not nor changes.
Confusion frustrates Hurt Heart head for justification for falling, embracing Black, was no one cared, and I don’t matter.
Hurt Heart in attempt to see his adversary moves closer to Speck and sees his reflection in Speck.
He moves away but his reflection is always there but changes not in size.
Again Hurt Heart knows he is in Speck and has always been.
Very unsettling Hurt Heart sits on a black sofa to think.
Nice familiar sofa, you I know, so why am I known and have been known. How can I be here and there?
How can Speck exist when in every way I have given my heart to Black?
Black answer me!
Who is S.peck? Why does he care? Why am I in Him? How does he know who I am?
Black answer me
Why is there just darkness and comfort?
Why aren’t there answers?
Hurt Heart turns to Speck and knows who Speck is.
You are, aren’t you?
You are truth not just dark comfort.
I am in you and because of it I mean something to you, In fact I am yours to be loved and care for if I turn to you.
Speck there is nothing of me that is of value.
You are not just a speck of light.
You are the one who created me, and know me and yet you still love me.
I am in you because from you I was created
You are GOD!
You are JESUS!
You are my life, save me!
Suddenly death was swallowed by life.
Darkness by light
Hurt Heart was now Full Heart
And Speck?
Well you know no matter what size,
He is savior, Lord, Healer, Lover, and Life, in him is no darkness.
Speck is the authority of GOD in fullness
And the fullness of Full Hearts life.
For Full Heart darkness became grayness the well of falling faded and in its place.
He that is light became Full Hearts attention.
Black was still around with just faded outline of his dark sofas
But they held no comfort or attention.
What did, was GOD! GODS love, his invitation for Full Heart to look at him,at his love for him.
To be with GOD the father was hope and healing and incredible relief.
Relief that he did not have to run his own life, he got to do only that which GOD desired.
Relief from mind that any time his head was messed up with thoughts, he could place his thoughts back in GOD. His GOD was his father not of confusion but of order.
Full heart easily traded in his hopelessness and chose to look and live in trust that the GOD of light had a plan and purpose his life.
And there was healing, healing he knew was going on in his soul all the time. He could sense that GOD was tending to his deep wounds, healing deep, deep sorrowful wounds of heart.
Full heart delighted spending time alone with GOD. In those times he got to live in happiness, everyday he was discovering new ways GOD was a part of who he was.
GOD was his whole hearts desire, in his presence he would laugh and twirl as a child, enjoying being loved, cherished.
His friends tried but couldn't fully understand him but that was alright for Full Heart lived in real time with he who is truth. His friends were happy he was getting along alright.
To Full Heart everything appeared new, for he saw GOD in all of his creation.
But most of all, he was completely thrilled by GOD the incredible colors of his love, ever changing, ever alive and still Him.
Full Heart was now looking all the time at what GOD wanted to show him. To see what GOD was looking at, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling, doing.
IN the past he was wondering who he was, now the more he saw GOD the more he knew himself.
Full Heart gave up trying to make something of his life he enjoyed following where GOD took him. His life was not defined by his past.
Since he had so many failures he dropped them and put GODS son robe of righteousness. Jesus said this is my robe of perfect righteousness, perfect success, you may wear it; it is always in you to wear. Full Heart so full of this incredible treasure twirled around in the robe of Christ’s righteousness. This is me? This me? This is you yet it is me? And GOD made known to him it was.
Life for Full Heart was different on the outside his bouts of physical pain and the usual troubles life’s brings was still there. But during these times he shared them with GOD who was there for him in the midst of it.
Full Heart laughingly called it being an air head for GOD. For no longer did he walk or carry life’s everyday burdens alone, he often asked GOD what is it you want me to think right now? And in doing so burden was shifted.
Black was ever vigilant trying to get Full Heart back. He would bring significant people into his life to push his buttons hoping anger would nullify GOD’s light. He would use old tricks trying to convince him he was a failure, looser, nobody respects you. But Full Heart spent time with God, ran to him to see again what he had to say ,had to feel about what was going on. And GOD being truth was love and life.
Held in fascination by GOD of Light now he had identity, purpose, love, success by association, righteousness and joy in spite of life.
He had found a way to escape himself that was so entangled with Black. And found himself and so much more in GOD of Light.
Full Heart had clear sight that the more he abandoned himself into GOD of Light the more he saw himself. This day was the now and to walk the course of this day with GOD of Light no matter how trivial was the center of GOD of light’s desire. All the fullness of purpose and the holiest he could be on the planet.
He grew, in how to live, not by what the eyes saw but by how GOD of light saw him.
Full Heart was amazed how often GOD of light wanted to laugh and delight. He seemed to be always delighting. He could crawl up in GOD of Lights lap with a concern and look at all the ways God of light would care for that concern and how thoroughly he was a part of every part of it. Amazed always amazed how deep fathomlessly deep his love is. Amazed and comforted God of lights peace was full assurance.
Full Heart, full of heart said it this way,”Unsurpassing, indescribable swallowed by life and light of GOD, My GOD!
And all this by the treasure in the dark.

To be a man move in the darkness with His light.

The blog this morning comes from my working through a book from Larry Crabb called "The Silence Of Adam" that helped me immensely in discovering what is a real man.

Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his GOD. Isaiah 50: 10-11

There is something in a man that takes on the giants that goes into the dark of night with courage.
In Alaska the grizzly bears come around our homes in the middle of the night. They have broken through windows and doors to get what they want.
The job of driving these buggers off falls on my neighbor Ken Wolff who often calls me and we have a great adventure finding the bears and scaring them out of town with special noise making shotgun shells.
This event has it all for a man, it is dark, there is the unknown of where the bear is, danger you could get eaten and the sense of the greater good of protecting the town. And it has the comradely of sharing it with a friend.
Grizzly bear stories allows one to face his own immortality which is built into a man to do. The old I stared death in the face stuff.
To our wives waiting at home for us to return, they're probably thinking who has a bigger dork than I do for a husband. But for us it's a grand adventure of ultimate manhood. grunt, grunt.

Being a man in Christ, life's grizzly size problems have slammed us in the dark.
The black night can stay for a long time, with life altering decisions.
But we men were created to step into the dark, trusting in faith to GOD.
Do I have what it takes as a man to face in the black of night this bear or situation?
These men speak into the darkness with strength from GOD instead of their own physical prowess of control.
They don't have to over power, they walk with he who is power,and they are talking and asking in real time to GOD who is their wisdom.
They can take the incredible confusion of people relationships with their petty, mean actions and speak light into the darkness not because of who they are but because of who GOD is inside them.
True men are men courageous enough to walk in the black of night because they know who they have given their life to.
A GOD who doesn't always explains the reasons why, but has assured us of himself a million times over that he is enough and is able to do far more than we could ever think or imagine.
A man without GOD gets to hate, feel hopeless, lusts, denies. He will choose lust for that way he doesn't have to live in the present.
True men in the dark, admit they don't know what to do and look to GOD and keep looking to GOD, single minded they move through the darkness.
When hunting for bears in the black of night you cannot see but you can hear. The same is true for the black confusion in life, we cannot see a way out, but we still can hear and sense GOD in us, so we move on with purpose following in the black He that has no darkness.
"Walking by faith is being led by GOD with a confidence in a GOD we trust but can never control. Whatever objectives or problems that come along our path becomes matters for prayer, while our energy is devoted to pleasing GOD, not making something happen."
Bottom line: you cannot follow if you're leading your own life.

Trusting GOD is often birthed in darkness, just like so much of creation was formed before there was light.

"When all is unclear and I ask what should I do? I decide what best reflects the character of GOD and move accordingly. Be courageous, be wise, be imaginative. You love GOD. Do something."

Meant to be

With old eyes I see the meant to be, possibilities fly away into silent sorrow.
Long held dreams that will never be, cannot be purchased with worthless sand dollars of the sea.

His heart for life and gumption is gone. Questioning his sacrifice a haunting song.
I gave and I gave, with all that I am, to get stony glares when it comes to the end?

Who am I? Where am I? It was never this way to be.
He dies in his heart as he places his ashes at GOD's feet.

Long, long, long as death completes it's goal.
Only then he sees life's true meaning is in him who knows.

To live you have to die, to gain MY meant to be.
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Our Heavenly Father wants you to be free from self so he can give you himself.
He knows the best for you, you cannot see.
After the rags and ashes of life are laid at his feet, comes resurrection of himself in you.
Far more wonderful his way than you could ever accomplish on your own. So let go, let GOD.
We are called to come by and encourage for there is always someone you know going through the black night of death. Reach out, come along side.
Walk together with the Shepherd.

His eyes said

I need you, his eyes said, as I entered the church.
The Christ in you encourages me.
I'm frail and searching, I'm like a lost kid,
my heart is unsettled, tired of wrestling with my head.

I need you, his eyes said, as I entered the church.
To find more of the shepherd I see you adore.
The one who helped you through the blackest days,
is the same one I need right now for my way.

I watched GOD love him through my everyday words.
Our spirits together with the Lord we both share.

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How much would I be if you took GOD out of me. Isn't it obvious the glory is all about the KING!

WITH HIM...

With HIM takes care of so many things

With Him:

• I'm not bored.
• My every moment has purpose and value.
• I am holiest I can possibly be.
• I don't have to question that what I'm doing is the right thing.
• I don't have to worry about being significant or accomplish anything with my life.
• I don't have to trust in my self.
• I don't have to please others.
• I don't have to carry the responsibility of my life.
• I can rest from myself and not have my mind drive me nuts.
• I can enjoy his acceptance and love for me.
• I can enjoy how he shows me things of himself.
• I can feel contented in my heart.
• I can know that all circumstances of life He is in the center of.
• I can glorify in worldly failure if they are following him.
• I know that temptations, loneliness,greed, anger has b een overcome by Christ and his freedom is available to me.
• I can be a child of his delight.
• I can doubly love and enjoy life with GOD's love and my own.

Thank you Lord for all you are to me.

Unbroken Intellect

In my self therapy blog, I get the opportunity to recall the events and insights that have made an indelible difference in my life. So for today I will recall the time I found out about my unbroken intellect. The concept I believe I discovered from an old Watchman Nee book.
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How does one so little, thinks he knows so much?

We truly know so little yet act so competent. And when I say we, I mean me as well, the way we speak with such conviction with the authority of one who is all knowing is flibber flabber.

A while back I saw an advertisement where the entire thing was whispered. It was effective and I thought what if presidential candidates could only whisper during their debates, that would be different.
Authority needs not embellishment, truth is it's volume.
Like GOD sovereignty it is position. Pretty much GOD saying "I AM" says it all.
He is the one who opens and no one can close. That closes and no one can open.
GOD created all things by his authority. His Authority is his power. His authority is himself.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, is letting GOD have his rightful place in my life.

I take few steps with my mouth that I don't put the ted spin doctor to.
Remember the prayer " May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing Lord to you."
Bottom line; unchecked mouth=unchecked heart.

Typical ted thinks that since I am able to configure words from my head, I have the right to manipulate the words any way I want to make it most convincing, demanding as truth.

Unchecked mouth, unchecked heart, unchecked head.

Right about now the tune to the little chorus "Humble yourself in the sight of the LORD"runs through my head.

Isn't there within us the desire to communicate GOD the way he desires?
I know I would listen more and speak less. I would see more often what GOD was doing instead of just what I wanted to get done. I would enjoy the small common everyday delights he loves to point out. I would enjoy the freedom and peace of a shared submissive mind. And I would be better able to tune into the needs of others and a deeper relationship with GOD.

Lord forgive me for the multitude times I have thought and spoken unshared with you.

I need to live asking you what do you want said, done, thought, felt, given so as not to miss out watching you.

It's a stitch to see how GOD, when let in ,will change how and what things are spoken.
You often see the fruit of it immediately and you have the joy of submissive obedience in real time.
How do I know how GOD is working in my life?
Just by the way I changed the way I spoke to that person, so it was the way Christ wanted it said.

Leaky Brain

My mother talks about having a leaky brain where she can't recall things like she used to.
I think she does just fine, it is myself that has the faulty brain circuitry.
I am always asking my wife to recall events from my past to re-enjoy.

All That's GOOD

Partial pictures of beautiful memories,

Sit on the edge of my mind desiring to be enjoyed.

All the colors and sounds I do get, I cherish.

Thank you Father for the many gifts,

now like fleeting clouds yet warm my heart.

How I long to see in faith not only you Father,

but all that is good.

To revisit tender love given, by so many.

To see your nature from memories

partially hidden.

For you oh Lord are the wonders unfathomed,

the keeper of all that is good.

For one day to be my gift.

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AnneBeth Bed time stories

My dear wife loves to fall asleep while I'm talking to her. She says my voice puts her to sleep. Now of all things endearing to a man's self esteem hearing you make me snore, isn't the most flattering, so I tell her stories. Now many of these stories have very abrupt endings for that is when I realize she is sound asleep. Sit back and prepare to snore.

The wind blew hard at Annebeth's worn clothes as she walked the 3 miles out of town to the cemetery. It was September 25th her 8th birthday and the orphanage where she lived didn't
give a hoot where she was. Since her Papa died all she had ever known was the hard hearts of the Headmaster and his mean wife Gonome and the bland watery fish soup for dinner and the grey mush for breakfast.
Earlier this day she had gone to school and for normal kids, for a birthday you invited friends home to a birthday party your parents put on. But all her classmates knew she was an orphan and orphans don't have parties.
AnneBeth pulled the thin shawl closer around her as a big truck blasted by. 3 miles was a long way but she was 8 now and there was plenty of big rocks she could huddle behind we she got too cold. All day long she walked and huddled and finally arrived at the cemetery where her papa was buried. Here at his headstone was where she curled in fact there was an indentation where she had come and curled so often. The headstone was large which blocked much of the cold coastal Norwegian wind. Oh Papa I miss you so much Little AnneBeth cried. I am 8 years old and nobody cares that it is my birthday today. But I know you would care if you were here.
Halfway across the cemetery was an old man in his mid fifties kneeling at a little grave.
AnneBeth had come here often and seldom did she ever see anyone unless it was a weekend and then they stayed only a few minutes. He was a curiosity to her for he was talking out loud to the little headstone before him. so she started crawling closer so she could make out what he was saying. She could tell he was broken hearted and heard him say "Lord I know you had your reasons for taking her, but oh how I miss her and love her". AnneBeth thought he was talking about his wife that had passed away, until she heard him say "she would be eight years old today and I would give anything to hold her and tell her how much I love and miss her."

Now at this point my dear wife is purring sound asleep in sleepy land and I can't sleep because the rest of the story is just hanging there to be finished. It reminded me of when I was in late junior high school and would get charlie horses in the middle of the night, oh , how I wanted to cry out for my Dad to come comfort me, but oh no I was too old for that.
I have watched people come to the end of their life and have regret for all they didn't accomplish, like my story I just presumed it would go on and on to a wonderful happy ending.
But life isn't all that gracious but GOD is . In heaven, in eternity there will be completeness to all half finished stories. We will see the completion of justice for all wrongs done. That is why the book of revelation speaks of battles with satan lasting so long, GOD will have completed justice.For now the rest of the story may have to wait, but it will come. There is a bible phrase' in the fullness of time". MY life will see the complete fullness of time.
But for my wife I doubt if she ever will get the rest of the story, snooze you loose!

Heat of Fire

Heat of fire your desire
till all dross of me is gone

Heat of fire your desire
your character in me is done

Heat of fire your desire
it takes such heat intense

Heat of fire your desire
make my desire for thee

To

Listening and stilling who I am to who you are
To see what you see and explore who you are
To live in time with you and not just myself

To touch and love with words of your heart
To sing and adore with words of my heart

With all that I am may your music be sung.

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Heart Holder

I have given Heart Holder my heart
my trust and I am content.
His gifts of love and light are fun
Dancing with childhood brightness
before Jesus his son.

Small shutters of heaven He opens
his music fills my ears,
sweet, gentle, warm and knowing
His love for me so clear


Times of trials come and shutters are closed
I turn to him who lies within
there is no music the battle begins

This time it's pain that's trying to win
No room for thoughts, here it comes again
pain pain it drives a guy insane
so I kick on back and let Heart Holder reign

Ride on King Jesus in you I place my trust
take this pain for your glory , that's reason enough.

Eyes can't see and ear can't hear
when pain screams and blinds with tears
yet through it all Heart Holder is enough.

My life is hid in HIM.

The Great Escape

Over many years of fabricating my own structure of Christianity for GOD. He brought me low with long emotional draining battles within. Using the very structure I trusted in he humbled me until I saw him only.
He is the good father desiring what I need so he can give the better gifts of himself.
In the long years of fire, I tried to keep the snipets of self construction until at last they too were blown away ashes.
It took darkness to value and live in him who is light.
I was a prisoner of self, ever desiring the great escape into Christ. Until I suffered until the sand castles of my construction were destroyed I couldn't have the gold light of him.
True to GOD like form my great escape came not in some quick manner but in many small everyday ways I saw who I was in Christ and traded in ted.
Learning afresh how to follow, how to watch the one who is leading. How to look for what he sees.
Once again I feel like a spiritual infant in a life I should have had all along. But he took my regret and rolled out eternity yet to be lived . He is the great redeemer life wasted strayed sheep.

My great escape wisdom WILL SOUND FAMILIAR;
He who tries to save or construct his own life will find it impossible and you will loose all your effort.
BUT he who looses his life to gain all that Christ is will find life and peace.
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What I See

Oh that you could hear what I see
of the king that lives in me.
He is light and love and bright eternity.
One who delights in changing the color of the sea.

Oh that you could hear what I see.
The way he feel and values every tear.
With gentle heart and loving care
he lets me know he is ever near.

Oh that you could hear what I see.
My Father who takes such care of me.
He's there when I am tired and cannot think at all,
in mid flight he catches me as I fall.

Oh that you could hear what I see.
The sweet fun laughter we two do share,
Exploring the one who is always around
is the greatest adventure I have ever found.

Mother's Day

Love that's ever loving
How I'm doing,ever on her mind.
her spirit full of color
like warm sunshine ever kind.

She held me when I was little
in middle of night when I cried.
She held me when I was older
when life's trial I was tried.

creating happiness in my childhood
with birthday parties of delight.
Now that I'm older
her meatloaf catches my sight.

She sewed on Cub Scout badges
washed clothes and broke up fights
her life and love for Jesus
kept her studying late at night.

Her husband loved her dearly
and she him with all her might.
that we kids may learn of true love
the type that holds you tight.

always doing for others
often going without
giving of her heart
is what she was about

Now is Mothers day morning
trees are bright in bloom
I have this sweet assurance
with my mom there is always room

Love you Mom a zillion!

Laughing King

I slid on the blue morning sky and dangle my feet in his white
Arms wide I volley ball clouds to his delight
Bouncing them clear out of sight

Wide eyes excitement ushers his next surprise
As the wind of his spirit tickles and spins me head over heels
To slide on the blue again

Brown earth seats me into a childhood throne
While green trees laughingly bow homage
To this childhood king

It is GOD’s gift of the morning
To be free as a child
Of the laughing KING
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Just isn’t me

Profound and deep just isn’t me
I’m a dingaling dork that hangs with the king
But oh how he loves me
Just the kid that I am
Flibber flabbing gibber gabbing
Attempting to paint my KING

My words go in and feed my soul
My words go out the heart of my shout
It is the voice of love redeemed
From locust lost years
And echoing laughter down eternity’s hall

It’s clicker clap and stinker snap
Sprinkly spratt and turkey tat
I get to sparkle as I sit in his lap

the color of one second of time

How does one paint the colors of my KING?
When he who is beauty is ever changing
With failing attempts I grab a second of him
and with paint of words inadequately portray him
For even as I try his colors change
he giggles and twirls with freedom of love and light
He really likes being the KING
In him there is a time for happiness
All happiness is him.
He joys that I try, it tickles his fancy
It is exciting to try as he shoots across the sky

Delight of the day

Fluff and Flutter peanut butter
around and around my head spins
picking up tidbits of nothing that matter
it's morning time in my head.

Fluff and Flutter peanut butter
I go to my chair to begin.
The putting of heart and spirit together
to live in his light within.

Fluff and Flutter peanut butter
scattered thoughts be off with ya now
so I may walk and watch how you move through this day.
My Lord the delight of my day.

To Clip or not to clip that is the question.

Everybody has views and perspectives that are not universally accepted. Such I'm sure is mine today.

Once upon a time there was a boy that was born with a strange phenomena. Instead of hair he had grass on his head. That's right, bright green grass. His parents to took him from Doctor to Doctor to try to find out why their child was born with grass instead of hair. Of course no Doctor could help. They said we have specialist for every thing under the sun but nothing for grass instead of hair.

It was tough on the Parents, once when they were visiting friends on a farm and a goat came over and started eating the grass off their baby's head.

In the summer their child's grassy head grew like crazy and they had to cut it or mow it every week.

It hadn't help that before the child was born they named him Cutter and their last name was Crabb. So by the time the child was in first grade he was persistently teased as "Grass Cutter, Crab Grass, well you can only imagine what it was like for the boy.

The parents tried dyeing the grass but it wouldn't color.

They tried grass killer for a bald boy was better than a grassy haired boy, but it wouldn't die, it would turn yellow if he didn't bathe.

When Cutter turned 8 years old things got a lot worst, one morning he awoke to find bright yellow dandelions growing out of head. He would play outside and bumble bees would follow him everywhere he went.

One night he invited his friends over for a sleepover where they shampooed his head with Ortho Grow fertilizer and by the next morning he had grass down to his feet.

He had to cut it 3 times a day. Every where he went he had to carry scissors just to keep up with the grass growing so fast, it caused problems because bus drivers, lunch room ladies and teachers don't like lawn clippings all over so now he had to carry his own grass catcher bag everywhere he went.

This poor boy was at Witt's end when he came home and his parents informed him that both of them were allergic to grass.

No one person could help poor Cutter.

It was Christmas and Cuttter wrote Santa Clause a letter asking for real hair instead of grass. Little did he know that all around the world children were being born with grass for hair and come Christmas morning each child received a box of cordless lawn clippers that were attached too a belt they wore around their waist and a tee shirt that said feel free to clip.

Cutter and the other children with grassy heads soon had many friends. Every one wanted to trim grass, Dad and Mom spent special time with Cutter as daily each would trim his grass.

When Cutter turned twelve just like all the other children their grass turned into beautiful hair.

Cutter spent his life helping parents with grassy head children and was the national Rep for Scotts Lawn and Scalp Trimmers.



The story you just read is true, only the name have been changed to protect the Innocent.



When it comes to counseling people I think we are all screwed up. The people that have helped me the most were the ones that walked along side and pointed the right direction. They had clippers in their hands and were willing to be with me. GOD is the great changer of hearts not the cleverness of words.

Larry Crabb a christian counselor said it well, "We have specialist for everything. What we need is for Christian's to be there for each other, to walk through life together and support each other and we would do away with specialists".



Love GOD and the second is like the first love each other.



People are so complex their problems are multi layered and GOD is so capable to touch the many things that need to be changed so we wont miss out on more of him.



Look and see who are the ones GOD has appointed you to care and walk along side?



Is it time to pick up a clipper again?