Repentance ; it's an attitude of the heart

Repentance, the daily intake of fresh life giving heart exchange, his for mine.
Shucking off the old and embracing the Him.
 Repentance, an attitude of a heart that yearns for more of Papas love and affection. Repentance, the always open door my heart to his. Not a have too, not a I should, but a word that describes the freedom of a natural flow of living loved.
It is the result of love's incredible force rushing toward the desired object of its affection. It is the homecoming rush of lovers as they race to each other.
 Repentance, not just a word or an action but a sweet part of who my Papa is, the eternal open hug, open invitation of all he is.
Oh come, drink deep from a well that shall never run dry and every slurp is a surprise.

Extraordinary Day

 On a lazy October day the sun warmed the two brothers as they pressed apple cider from an old press. Talk was as easy as the unforced turning of the fall colors around them. Topics were not the value, just being there was, because there, was a fine place to be. A couple dogs wandered around as the two brothers tasted their cider eventually  3 salmon were cleaned and the two decided to go fishing. Several miles away at a friends house the two of them took an old 12 foot aluminum skiff found a stick for a boat plug grabbed two old oars and set off in a beautiful little cove in search of fish or to just live this day the way it was suppose to be lived. The tiny cove sided with tall trees, gentle sloping gravel beds topped with clam shells, little juttings of land that caused twists and turns and that special October sun that reminds us that this too will pass surrounded them. With one oarlock broken the younger brother paddles while the ancient brother rows. Memories,questions, philosophy, blended into the afternoon sun. Agenda-less, unrushed, natural they become the day. Two beautiful mallards flew to the sky as they came to the end of the little cove, a couple old derelict boats tucked in the woods seemed content in their resting place with maple leaves, cedars bows canopying their bed. The tide moved slow as the two brothers rowed, and it matter not that a line was never casted. What was shared, was they were brothers, held together not by what they were doing but by who they were on the inside. The I can't really see or understand why but it's there, you are a part of me and I value you. Your worth is a part of mine and on this day we shared the who of who we are and it is good. We said good by and both knew what words cannot convey you are my extraordinary brother that  I love on this extraordinary day.

We Forget

Easy like breathing we forget we are with the Father. The direction we point our brain contracts our attention to the point of forgetting over and over again until PING! Our recollection is stirred that I am loved and I wonder why I ever forgot. The more loved I live life ,the more love I will give. resulting in enjoying the friendship, freedom, and mindfulness of his presence. Through the eyes of love, God directs our life, settles our minds and shows us in a million ways we are his and loved. On the canvas of love the beauty of all he has created is a testimony of his affection for little me. So like little kids we keep coming back for we know a wonderful, safe and loving thing when we see it.

Cherish is the Word

God gives many gifts, quiet, tucked in, surprises of value so intensely profound yet so subtly placed,it is his trademark.
 This morning I woke to the thought of my Dad cherishing me.It was one of those things where I couldn't see me, I could only see the torso of my Father arms reaching out to me cherishing his  young son.
 It wasn't an experience where I wept, it was a time when I saw truth.  It was a gift from my Heavenly Papa about my earthly Papa
. In my struggles of growing up as a kid, I took on the joys and excitement of being the bad kid, I drove everyone nuts. In the process I started to believe that what I did or didn't do defined who I was. At the same time as I formed what I thought was my own definition of my self,I also defined what others thought of me and kept them as truth. These made up truths were not accurate they were contrived by my perception and of course I kept building and building a bigger case that my perception was right. But it wasn't.  My eyes only saw what my eyes wanted to see. You see there IS something of value in me worth loving. Even if I can't see it, even if my memories can't recall it, my dad did cherish me. He might of had a tough time standing me but he did cherish me. He might not know how to communicate it, but the truth is he did cherish me. My heavenly Papa is in the process of untwisting the idea that I am cherishable and cherished not based on my merit but because he said I am worthy to be cherished. It is a

s if he is saying "Ted welcome to the wonders of my love,I am the untwist-er and set righter of all things in which you can trust. And I love you, I love you, I love you! Remember that old pop song it goes "cherish is the word I used to describe, all the feelings that I have hiding here for you inside, you don't know how many times I wish I could told you, you don't know how many times I wish I could hold you, you don't know how many times I wish I could mold you into something that would make you cherish me as much as I cherish you." Father thank you for another verse of I love you, I love you, I love you.

Interlude

The peace of the night is a balm that stops so much of the hurriedness,there is a comfort that this day will rest when the sun goes down. The darkness narrows my heart to myself and the father and in the silence our souls lies deep together. I love the together of us, the life that I am in him, and need not self, to be self, is rest. I do not always live in this state fully but when I respond to just being in him without words, he is my spring of life in a deep pool of peace. I am reminded of the first line of that old hymn "I go to the garden alone..." I go alone to not be alone. Interlude, the break between the hurriedness of life. As I write this, this is my interlude I do not know how many tomorrows but I have the sweet gift of my interlude to savor now. How many sweet and precious people did I talk to today, and now I relax and thank Papa. I hear" Ted, I let you do this in remembrance of me, I let you love and live life to value deeply to know that who you are is a part of who I am. That you in me share in all the ways I care for others, in all the ways I hold all things together. In midst of evil and sorrow, salvation exists in me and life,the real life inside this mortal life is me. As i sit, I hear the rapid sound of the second hand ticking away, but it doesn't touch the love and peace of the stillness of my heart lieing deep in him. "The peace I give is not the peace of the world" . My heart for you is that you will let his love be your teacher of himself that your joy may be full.