You are Loved

Giving ones heart, is trusting your heart that he who has it, is able to care for it better than you can.

The security for your trust is his past consistency in faithfuly caring for you, it is His love.

In order to be loved and to live loved you have to spend time being loved.

It is not something you do for GOD, it is receiving from him that we grow in who he is.

Often Christians think it is what they do for GOD, that is like a guy who goes on a first date and all he does is talks about himself. At the end of the date he doesn't know a thing about her.

GOD is love and he loves to give, It is our part to follow what he is doing, to position ourselves deliberately to be able to receive his love.

Most of our sinning comes because we do not receive his love. If we were head over heels in love we wouldn't think twice about hurting our lover.

GOD does not want guilt us into a relationship with him, he wants to love us into a deep relationship with us.
What cuts us off, is us, we control our lives,
It was the sin of desiring control that got Lucifer going down the wrong path, It was control he tempted Adam and Eve in the garden with.
To follow is to follow not control and make decisions.
Our Heavenly Father is inviting us unto himself his way by love.
It is my love that I give to you which is life and contentment,

by seeking to be loved by me you will be seeking my kingdom first.

Only a fool would choose control over perfect unconditional nonstop love.



Be still and know you are loved

Darkness into Light

This morning I watched once again our Heavenly Father turn darkness into light.
Slowly the light of this morning revealed that which was in darkness. Trees turned from dark silhouettes to green trees, black night turned to grey dawn to a blue Sky morning.
The same is true in my life as I watch him slowly revealing himself until that day when his joy is made complete and we see and know in full.This wonderful of wonderfuls

He is my...

He is my cause,
I need not pick up any that represent him.
He is my identity,
for only he knows who I truly am.
His spirit is him,
and right inside of me.
You talk to me,
he's right there too.

Perpetual love

What an incredible gift in earthen vessel.
His love a happy sweet gentle energy of consistency and care.
To know him is reason enough to leave the pleasures of this world.
To walk in his love, not only what he did in the past but his love for this moment. For he is the perpetual I love you ted.

The real Jesus relationship

Not to walk as Jesus walk but to let Jesus walk through us, to let him shine out of this earthen vessel. No longer do for Jesus but letting Jesus do through us.
Recently a women from Ireland blew the world away with her incredible voice. She had it all along, but one day it was let out for the world to hear.
The same is true with Christ in our life, let him out, trust him enough to lead you. Our Christianity is so weak to the world because our love relationship our daily fellowship with Jesus is so weak. I never have any trouble telling anyone how wonderful my wife is, shouldn't the same be true for He who is love and inside of us?
The pleading of volunteers in churches go unheeded because the members don't have a relationship with Jesus that is so real that they would want to serve HIm.
Frankly keeping the church machinery going is more duty than joy unless they see Jesus in all they do and are being led by him to minister this need, otherwise all you are doing is shaming someone into religious obligations.
Pastors WE DON'T NEED TO SEE HOW MUCH HEAD KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE AND HOW WELL YOU CAN WORD SMITH YOUR COLLECTIONS OF CLEVEROSITY. WE NEED TO SEE AND HAVE YOU TEACH AND ENCOURAGE US HOW TO BE FULL OF THE SPIRIT TO WALK WITH HIM AND TALK WITH HIM AND KNOW WE ARE HIS OWN . SHOW US THE TESTIMONY FROM YOUR LIFE THE TESTIMONY OF HIS LIFE THAT WE MIGHT KNOW HIM MORE AND GROW IN LOVE WITH MORE.
The apostle John laid his head on Jesus for he loved him so dearly, Peter swam ashore hearing it was Jesus after he denied him 3 times, on and on People ran to be loved by Jesus, we too need to run to him who loves you with a sparkle in his eye that you are his special delight. So many of us have heard the familiar invitation to give your heart to Jesus. We need to give more of our heart to listen and be with this incredible creator.
Bottom line : It's not the church institution, people are attracted to give their life for, It is the person of Jesus.

Listening & being with GOD where he is

It is a beautiful summer evening and my world is quiet.
My heavenly Father continues to work within me though not with words or thoughts but an inner sense knowledge of him silently is in me.
He is GOD and the ways he chooses to communicate within me I have no control over. But my spirit testifies and knows he is within and rests so easy in that love.
This silent work within is the freedom to walk as he did, to love and care to see life and the institution the church from his perspective.
It is also the positioning of my heart to where he is, instead of where I want him to be for me.
It is almost 9 PM and the sun is setting over the Olympic mountain range and shining on the water. The end of the day stretches out and is easing in to the restful peace of night. And as I watch it, His spirit within allows me into the rest and beauty of he who made today, today.
A long Sunday nap, visiting my mother, children at church and the music that hearts could worship this so personal and loving GOD. Sitting here with him in the closing display of the day is a gift that ministers deep to my soul and my love for him.

The Private side of walking with Jesus

The new testament talks often about Jesus being human, Yep but he is GOD at the same time, so I quickly clunk in the GOD, King of Kings picture in my mind. But lately his human side has caught my attention.
For example today is a grey foggy morning and I am not a morning person. My mind is not snappy in fact it is more nappy than snappy. And right here, right now, he is with me in my groggy state of mind.
What I enjoy, is his complete acceptance of me I cannot do anything to please him more, his only request is that I follow him to where he wants to go and do and right now sitting half groggy in my fat boy recliner is just fine with him. I am at ease, with myself and with him.
Yes, he is that mighty king of kings but he is also human , touchable, able to be in the moment.
My grandparents before they passed away didn't talk much of their affection, they didn't have too, they knew each other so well had spent so much of their life and heart together they just knew and didn't need words.
My human Jesus my elder brother who is always standing before the Father on my behalf is that way in my heart, in my soul.
It is his "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Personal, yes, the very one who is Love, sits with me this morning and lets me enjoy him.

Between you and GOD

I love the raw truth of this poem and the last line says it all it is between you and GOD!
GOD leads us through some mighty tough and unpleasant life situations but who he is and how much he cares never ceases. I can't help but think as I read the poem how a parent loves their child unconditionally for the average child will go through most of this list with his/her parents.
What an incredible loving father in heaven we have to love and be loved by.



Anyway

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

He turns darkness into light

Remember an old song that goes "let the sunshine in do it with a grin" Lately I've been letting GOD's sunshine in thinking about GOD being all light and in him there is no darkness. He not only forgives us of our sins he forgets they ever exsisted and he turns their darkness into light. Also "all things work together for good for those who Love GOD" even our sins works for good.
It is the way he is, my problem I don't live what is. I live to whatever thoughts plauge my pea brain.
Satan desires to tear down my life with past sins. GOD says I will make them light and in light there is no evil.
ted live in the light,live enjoying the freedom of being thouroughly loved, accepted see the who you are in me.
Every once in a while we hear of an animal who adopts itself to a totally different animal and thinks it is that other species. I have to see that I am a new creation belonging to Christ. Do you think we will ever see the end of who we are in Christ?
I don't see how!
I feel like I know who ted is by how I know who my GOD is. In the process I feel safer to trust myself for I see how much GOD is a part of me, more known, more loved and easier to trust GOD with who I am and my life.
And in return so contented to trust ted.

Go Back Living Loved

It's the morning after the great Chinese buffet pig out, And oooooooh I'm feeling it, I ate way too many carb's for my diabetes and now I'm in carb headache land.
Make sure your sins will find you out, seems to be taking center stage.
Yesterday I was recovering from doing too much physical work the day before and today I'm recovering from the yesterday pig out.
During both incidents GOD had made it known I was out of sync with him, but I pushed him aside because I knew best and to accomplish my predetermined goals for the obvious good it will bestow. Wana bet?
Since when is ted's ways better than GOD's ways?
You can imagine right now I wish I had walked with him rather than apart.
Regrets go clear back to the beginning of time, with Adam and Eve casted out of the garden, even old evil lucifer will spend eternity in hell in the end.
A friend of mine was mentioning that life is made up of choices. Whether they are good or bad will dictate the amount sorrow or happiness that comes to your life.
Are ya following or leading?
If you are leading you trust in your self. If you are following you are trusting in GOD knowing best.
I've paid incredible dumb tax in my life. And yet my father hasn't rejected me.
Like the father of the prodigal son , GOD will love me no less because of my bad decisions. ted I will not condemn you, come on back home again. And so I do, currently paying the price for lousy decisions? you bet. Yet also sorrowful for the time I missed out being with him while I was doing my own thing.
When I walk up the steps of home to him. I get to go back living loved.
I remember a discussion I had with my brother in law years ago when they were raising their toddlers. He bemoaning the innumerable times he had to correct his children over the same offense. it was driving him nuts. How come they just can't get it?
Isn't GOD's mercy and love incredible, getting to go back living loved?

Life Together

The grey soft fog and overcast skies soften the morning as I silently sit here with my Father in Heaven. So much to be grateful for, so in silence I just sit silent grateful.
I don't need words or lists , I just enjoy grateful and his heart for this moment.
Treasuring GOD, loving him, enjoying how much he treasures me, my spirit rests so contentedly in our moment.
IT is spring time, nature is growing like crazy, new leaves sprouting their own new color codgers up ones need to tend to new life.
My sweet wife is frying up some eggs and I think back to the many places I have had memorable breakfasts.
I recall being out in the sand in a desert farming village in Mexico. No furniture, no running water, no electricity, 50 miles to the nearest paved road. Breakfast cooked over an open fire.
I remember the morning light and the village waking up and moving toward the duties of the day.
A different world in some respect but not as much as you would think. Husbands still kissed their wives and children goodbye as they headed out for work. Laundry had to be done and dishes washed. But in this village there was a family connection. You could feel the connectedness of belonging being a part of all the rhythm of life that made up the village.
This is the way GOD intended "church" to be , the inclusion of himself in our lives as together we live out our every days. There is a rumbling in me that says , lets get GOD out of the church building and into our homes. Not with programs but in simple genuine enjoyment of him with each other and with our children. Let's drop the structure of meetings and watch GODs spirit move naturally like we live life.
Jesus didn't come to set up meetings and programs he came with his spirit so that we might live life in real time with and with each other.
This doesn't mean we do away with bible studies and worship . What is different is the reason and purpose in what were doing. Our reason is to know GOD relationally more and our purpose is follow after him with ALLLL our heart.
Head knowledge only bible studies, was really what was going on with the pharisees and Sadducee's in Jesus time. In fact if you look at Jesus he didn't come to earth to reform the church structure , he came smack dab for the hearts and everyday lives of the people.
Just as that desert village had a natural way of sharing life together so also GOD desires his children to live in him in love.

Updateroo

It's been one week since I have written, There seems to be times when thoughts need to to simmer awhile. Thoughts that need an extra measure of life lived to be complete.
Such I hold.
I am happy, I reckon in many ways the happiest I've been in my life. And I credit it to my heart being set free in Christ.
It also doesn't hurt, that physically I haven't felt this good in a year!
I can now work all day, it feeels so good . Thank you Lord.
Yesterday the foundation was poured for the new coffee roasting shop we are building right by our house.
One of my spiritual gifts is being an organizer and the thought of having a place for everything is quite exciting.
I have built AnneBeth new planters and underground watering system for the yard. It was on the "before I kick the bucket list" to get done.
AnneBeth is officially out of school for the summer and will be going to Pelican for the month of July.
I already miss her but in my heart I know GOD has specific reasons why he wants her there.
Well that's all I have from my Lakebegone, just letting ya know I haven't fallen off the globe.
ted

54 YEARS YOUNG!

It's my birthday! 54 years old, I'm suppose to be a grownup but as my nephews and nieces can attest I aint and thar aint no way I want to be.
Inside me there are multiple ages that pop out at different times, sometimes I'm a :
eight year old flying a kite,
12 years old building forts,playing army,
14 years old ,so those are girls hmmmm,
16 yeras old NOW I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ALL KNOWING,
18 years old, Watch out world here I come,
25 years old Ahhhh the world didn't want me,
35 years old I'm married and building a house,
and the rest just blurrs.
I reckon I am pretty much a skitzo old geezer who refuses to be bound by age limitations of my mind.
GOD loves the whole of me which includes all the years I lived and He has no problem in showing me that through all the ages He was there for me and to recall them is just a gift twice given.

You think I got it bad you should see my OLDER brother Chris , he jumps on the trampoline with the kids and bulldozes with his grandson with tonka toys.
Come to think of it, maybe it's hereditary and then we can blame it our parents.
I think I'm on to something for my Mom who is 80 something still thinks hes 40 and everybody under 75 are just kids.
HEY, WHAT EVER, IT's MY BIRTHDAY AND I CAN BE ANY AGE I WANT, EXCEPT 54 BECAUSE THAT'S WAY OLD.

Ignore What One Will One Day Not Be

Try to ignore what will one day not be.
I can get easily fed up with the weaknesses of christianeze.
Fleshy politics that entangle my mind and rob it from the better gifts of life.
I once had a friend that was dieing and when I would go and visit him he made it clear he did not have time for the petty hidden agendas that buzzed around the church.
The same is diffidently true with GOD in fact they don't even phase him. He is who he is and those things aren't worthy of his concern.
Go love, go give, follow where I lead you, what I want you to focus on and that which of this earth will grow dim in the light of my glory and grace.

Ahhhh Barefoot With A Squirt Gun Eating Ice Cream

I can resist anything but temptation and ice cream.
A few years back it occurred to me that when we get to heaven we won't be able to sin and so I said to my mother we should be good stewards of our time down here and sin.
She asked what I had in mind I suggested we pig out on an ice cream sunday at Dairy Queen.
I remember it was at the end of the school year in High School and I wanted to go barefoot, but they had a" wear shoes " policy, so I took an old pair of tennis shoes and cut the soles off and waaa laaaa I am now legally barefoot.
As you can tell being bad still tempts me and Romans 8 where it says we have GOD's Spirit in us needs to be reinstalled more frequently.
It was here that I saw that our minds should be focused on what the Spirit is doing. Looking to see what GOD is doing right now, what does he want.
This is the way to steer a course away from ice cream, sole less shoes and chasing girls with squirt guns.
"Those who are led by the spirit of GOD are sons of GOD."
"The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace."

Shared Spirit of GOD's Delight!

Children were sitting up front on the floor, the dear folk of his little church had moved to the back allowing relatives to have a front row seat. His sweet wife was there with towels reassuring their daughter who was a little nervous . He did alright getting into the baptistery, even watching his son get in, he had no trouble.
But then it struck him the fulfilment of his heart's dearest desire was taking place. And not only his son but his beautiful daughter as well.
Tears came from his bursting heart of love, gratitude and joy that his children, his family would be together for ever. For ever exploring Heaven, living in the presence of their Heavenly Father.
Words of acceptance of Christ were stated by his children ,he managed to say his part as he baptized each child, yet he was so full of GOD's Spirit how or what he said was overshadowed by the shared spirit of GOD's delight. Everyone could feel it, The place was alive with GOD!
Everyone left with his spirit marking this day as special to Nathan, Amy and their parents.
They also left knowing it was a day of delight to GOD's heart as well.

go dig a ditch!

I dug a 60 foot trench 9 inches deep in rocky soil. I did it sitting in a chair with a grubnhoe. Now to many that would be a so what, but to me, it was excitement. I haven't been able to work like that in almost a year, I felt young again, for in my youth. I dug a lot of ditches for Dad.
My back is getting better and the pain in my leg has decreased significantly. The sunny weather is invigorating memories of working for Dad putting in lawns and landscaping, it was all that character building stuff ya hear people talk so fondly about when you really wish you were out playing.
My father was a contractor with 7 kids and going out to work was as natural as breathing to him.
I don't recall him complaining, but I do recall him being frustrated over problems in his own (keep it to himself manner).
He has beaten the rest of us to heaven, it's been a number of years now, but I miss him.
Digging my trench, sitting at church, at my moms house in the living room, up in Pelican Alaska and just outside in general brings to life the part of him that I carry in my heart.
I live life apart from my Dad, life without him is not the same, it is more insecure, it seems wrong in a sort of subconscious way. However, who he was is still in me, and I hold that as a treasured gift.
The giver of all good gifts left us himself, and there will come a day that all we hold in part in our heart will be fulfilled in front of us.
Until then he gives us memories and his spirit that keeps our hearts connected to those we love, and he cherishes.
So go dig a ditch in memory lane because you can!!!!

nephew and niece baptism

Dear Nathan and Amy
Wow, wow and zowwwy wow! I am so excited about your baptism.

I love you two and to think my GOD that is so incredibly loving to me, you will have as well is just Zowwwy wow!
We are going to enjoy HIM and all the wonders of heaven together, we are going to laugh and explore and in awe, worship our heavenly King of Kings.

You will never have regret over the choice of accepting HIM.
At the end of your life when you stand before him face to face nothing you have done for him will seem enough, all the long trials and sacrifice , when you see those eyes of love and every part of you is at home to be thoroughly loved and to love ,this joy is beyond what we can only imagine.
For now since you two hold such an incredible gift within you. Follow his spirit within you, live in the relationship, enjoy Him, trust Him.

The excitement of following Christ is seeing and doing the things, he wants you to do. He is the most clever GOD, and he gets a kick out of so many things. You just got to look and see what he's up to.

So each morning when you wake up with him, just you and him talk. He loves to be with you, it's not everyone who has their very own Aslan in their bedroom.

And when you go downstairs for breakfast and out the door for school talk to him share your day, and you will have an extraordinary life.

Don't just read your bible but share it with him, listen to what he tells your heart. Stay hid inside him and he will shine out of you .

You are already so successful not because of what you have done, but you have all that Christ has done in who you are. Now that's way bigger than a bread box!

Because of Jesus, you are clean of all sin you have ever and will ever commit , which means for as long as you live your Father in Heaven will always be excited to love you and never condemn you. To help us down here. His spirit will lead us and show us the way to go as we let him.
Well there you be, my heart for you. My heaven is brighter now, my Father in Heaven is shinier because we share HIM together.

My joy is thanking GOD for you and being able to ask that he bless you two with all that he is.

And to say I love you two.
Your uncle teddy bear

Words of life from our soul

Most people go through their entire lives never speaking words to another human being that came out of what is the deepest in them, and most people never hear words that reach all the way into the deep place we call the soul.
We almost never hear words that stir life within us, that pour hope into those empty spaces deep inside filled only with fear and frustration.
We rarely hear words that draw our soul into the soul of another human being and, together, into GOD.
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Above was a quote from Larry Crabb one of my favorite authors.

I have a niece that is graduating from High School and tradition states we give her a gift.
I'm not opposed to giving her a gift, in fact I am delighted to, but my hearts desire is to give not a cheap gift, but a gift that is symbolic of what she means to me, how I want her to have a fulfilled life in Christ and tell her all the ways I have been blessed by GOD by her life.

When I was graduating from high school all I wanted was 10 bucks for a tank of gas.

I'm sure she too is exited about that is around the corner , I guess I wanted to explain to her how I love her so much.

Don't put off today what you will regret tomorrow.

Hope

C.S. Lewis said you can only hope for that which you desire.

At age 9 there is nothing bigger in life than the next adventure. I loved to play, I still do but it has taken a different form. Back then it was all the imaginary games like army, pirates, cowboy and Indians.
Christmas was coming and at the Thriftway supermarket of my town they had a shelf above the door that held presents parents could buy for their kids.
It was there I saw the fulfillment of all life's pleasures. It was a Jungle Jim Rifle set.
IT was so cool a plastic rifle that shot caps and had a scope with different colored lenses you could flip down. There was a plastic canteen and a plastic belt. And it was a big present in a big box.
And I dreamed and desired. Just to go down at the store and look at it sitting there was a treat.
But I thought it was too big a dream to come true so I tried to suppress my desire.
But it was everywhere I went. I was shooting that rifle taking down lions that were attacking and bad guys all over the place .
If only I had it for real. I would certainly be respected as being ultra cool. Like DUH how could I not be?
Well, that Christmas I got it , I can't imagine how my parents afforded it, but there it was in my hands what a beauty. Wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles I was a completed 9 year old.

Now I would like to say that the rifle was so cool I never desired or hoped for anything else.
But you know better, by the end of the first day I do recall something breaking on it and sure enough the toy dissolved into broken toy land.
There has been one gift that has never, ever lost it's wonder, it sits not on a top shelf of a grocery store but inside me. The gift opening will last eternity, it will be the fulfillment of every type of desire and then more.
Broken toy land does not exists there, only invitation to come. The cool thing is the gift opening has already begun ,,,,,it is of course Christ in me (my hope) (My Glory)(My unbreakable) (My ever new) (My Father in Heaven).
Who he is , is my desire. Who he is, is my hope.

Come see, see if I won't open the windows of heaven to show all I have for you in me!

What and Who to Be..Me, Me, Me in He, He, He!

Trying to decide what and who to be,
I could never see the me GOD had for me.

Stumbling, searching, seeing not the forest for the trees,
I completely couldn't see me.

Until I let the only one who knows, show me,
The me I couldn't see.

For it is in him I find the real me,
an unfolding mystery smack dab in the heart
of the one who created me.

me, me, me, me, in He, He, He, is where I found me.

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I have had a long quest for significance, where do I fit in? What and who am I?
My wrong thinking was I would find the answer by looking into myself.
How short sighted I am, We are so much more a part of GOD then when could ever imagine.
He limited our knowledge of this fact so we could choose him of our own free will.
If our thinking of who we are and our significance is just about ourselves, what a bum deal.
We know our weaknesses we know our past failures, if people saw those when they met us we would live in holes in the ground.
But when we realize our value is directly connected to GOD and how we were a part of his heart from before we were born and every moment he is with us, the sum of that whole is huge.

The more you look in him the more you will find the lost self of you , you always wondered about.

A Pastor's Prayer

On a sky canvas of light blue , GOD stroked long white clouds for this morning.
A chapter ,,,,ending Sunday ,,for our retiring Pastor.

To him I would imagine way too long in coming in some ways
and way too fast in others. Our Pastor, arrives at the church.

He will go and open doors, test the mikes, make sure communion items are ready.
He will sit in his chair, and go over who will be doing what for the service.
And every small thing will be magnified as if it was being printed in his mind never to be forgotten.

Time regards not the significance and soon people come with the small talk and he ducks away to pray to his Heavenly Father who is and has been every sense of faithful all these Sunday mornings.
Amen he walks out the study door with his ink to writes on the hearts of his sheep for the last time of this chapter.

Looking out at his flock he is stirred deep, these dear ones,, so loved by his Father he desires so much all that GOD has for them.

He prays
"Lord show them your face, Show them , that to you, because of your son they are perfect, beautiful .

Father may they see that they are sinless to you because you love and see them through your son's shed blood.
Lord may they see how each is your treasured joy
how each precious person here was a part of your heart and plan before you put the first star in place.

Jesus with all my heart thank you for because of your love my sheep one day will know in full all my heart yearns for them for.

Jesus for all these years thank you, Thank you for your spirit that has kept and loved us. Thank you for communion time where we worshipped you.
Now Lord I am ready my heart is set in you, Your next assignment awaits me, but always I will carry and be here too.

Lord in all you be glorified today! and thank you Amen


Prayer

Jesus it will take eternity to celebrate your gift of the cross, it will take eternity to understand all it means.
It will be eternity with you.
Father we give our lives to you. May we see ourselves the way you see us, loved , fully known and perfectly accepted because of your son. Amen

Desiring and Doing

Desiring and doing meet on the road of today,
the hot midday dust of tomorrow wears already in my heart.
It’s time to take a hold of another part of myself that previously hasn’t held on.
I have it not in myself,
the walk only he can lead,
if I but follow.
Looking back brings no hope,
so I settle on He who is hope ,
to guard and shore up the sand of who I am , with the rock of Himself.

I go to trust, to lean, to live out a truth and that is so weak and vapor thin, half a wisp vanishes it.
But it is here now in my hand the butterfly of this road.
I trust him to stay, and be apart of me of my desire.

Sons of Valor

Heaven's Sons of Valor will be there, clad in armor of Christ's brilliant righteousness.
With the same blood of courage, fearless we will rumble the ground of heaven.
In honor as men who knows the value of Valor we will sing strong, brave, sinless
and awestruck of our own participation in him.
II SAM 2:7
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Half Minded

Half minded dumbskull is what we be, living apart from the King.
Half minded, self minded, now we're a third minded numskull.
Flip flapping christian words apart from Him is not the same as
being with him. Apart is apart.
Shared minded with his spirit is the balance which brings peace to your heart.
Remember we are to minister to GOD.
We do this by obedience to what we know and am shown what is right in real time with him.
In return we will see it is far more for you from him than you could ever do for yourself.

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Hush your Heart

The Ancient of times sings of his love for me.

All of my promises I cover you.
See they are in you deep never to be snatched.
For I love my dear one.

Hush your heart it is safe in my spirit.

Hushed in holiness his music covers me.
I give him my heart to live.

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Rest In His Will

To rest in his will, that I see for today.
What peace and permission.
Living free of tomorrows fears.
and enjoy his chosen way.

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The Audience of GOD

The Audience of GOD
Is the one place I am totally me.
Free from pushifications and cleverness.
I am just me!
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Bar Tender Missionary

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
not pouring drinks of myself,not asked of me.

Wait for the order,the drink of their request,
so the Father's spirit can accurately bless.

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
the type that listens to customer needs,
instead of my glorious past deeds.

Bar tender missionary is what I ought to be,
to follow the lead of the shepherd,
and the light and life he brings.

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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

My Memorial weekend thought I enjoyed from an email I was sent.

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER
Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the Sentinels of the Third United States Infantry Regiment "Old Guard"
Q: How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?
A: 21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.
Q: How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
A: 21 seconds, for the same reason as answer number 1.
Q: Why are his gloves wet?
A: His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.
Q: Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time, and if not, why not?
A: No, he carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.
Q: How often are the guards changed?
A: Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.
Q: What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
A: For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30".
Other requirements of the Guard:
They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. They cannot swear in public FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.
After TWO YEARS, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.
The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.
The first SIX MONTHS of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame. Every guard spends FIVE HOURS A DAY getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
The Sentinels Creed:
My dedication to this sacred duty is total and wholehearted. In the responsibility bestowed on me never will I falter. And with dignity and perseverance my standard will remain perfection. Through the years of diligence and praise and the discomfort of the elements, I will walk my tour in humble reverence to the best of my ability. It is he who commands the respect I protect. His bravery that made us so proud. Surrounded by well meaning crowds by day alone in the thoughtful peace of night, this soldier will in honored glory rest under my eternal vigilance.
More Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknowns itself:
The marble for the Tomb of the Unknowns was furnished by the Vermont Marble Company of Danby, Vt. The marble is the finest and whitest of American marble, quarried from the Yule Marble Quarry located near Marble, Colorado and is called Yule Marble. The Marble for the Lincoln memorial and other famous buildings was also quarried there.
The Tomb consists of seven pieces of rectangular marble: Four pieces in sub base; weight Â- 15 tons;
One piece in base or plinth; weight Â- 16 tons;
One piece in die; weight Â- 36 tons;
One piece in cap; weight Â- 12 tons;
Carved on the East side (the front of the Tomb, which faces Washington, D.C.) is a composite of three figures, commemorative of the spirit of the Allies of World War I.
In the center of the panel stands Victory (female).
On the right side, a male figure symbolizes Valor.
On the left side stands Peace, with her palm branch to reward the devotion and sacrifice that went with courage to make the cause of righteousness triumphant.
The north and south sides are divided into three panels by Doric pilasters. In each panel is an inverted wreath.
On the west, or rear, panel (facing the Amphitheater) is inscribed:
HERE RESTS IN HONORED GLORY AN AMERICAN SOLDIER KNOWN BUT TO GOD
(Interesting Commentary)
The Third Infantry Regiment at Fort Myer has the responsibility for providing ceremonial units and honor guards for state occasions, White House social functions, public celebrations and interments at Arlington National Cemetery and standing a very formal sentry watch at the Tomb of the Unknowns.
The public is familiar with the precision of what is called "walking post" at the Tomb. There are roped off galleries where visitors can form to observe the troopers and their measured step and almost mechanically, silent rifle shoulder changes. They are relieved every hour in a very formal drill that has to be seen to be believed.
Some people think that when the Cemetery is closed to the public in the evening that this show stops. First, to the men who are dedicated to this work, it is no show. It is a "charge of honor." The formality and precision continues uninterrupted all night. During the nighttime, the drill of relief and the measured step of the on-duty sentry remain unchanged from the daylight hours. To these men, these special men, the continuity of this post is the key to the honor and respect shown to these honored dead, symbolic of all unaccounted for American combat dead. The steady rhythmic step in rain, sleet, snow, hail, heat and cold must be uninterrupted. Uninterrupted is the important part of the honor shown.
Recently, while you were sleeping, the teeth of hurricane Isabel came through this area and tore hell out of everything. We had thousands of trees down, power outages, traffic signals out, roads filled with downed limbs and "gear adrift" debris. We had flooding and the place looked like it had been the impact area of an off-shore bombardment.
The Regimental Commander of the U.S. Third Infantry sent word to the nighttime Sentry Detail to secure the post and seek shelter from the high winds, to ensure their personal safety.
THEY DISOBEYED THE ORDER!
During winds that turned over vehicles and turned debris into projectiles, the measured step continued. One fellow said "I've got buddies getting shot at in Iraq who would kick my butt if word got to them that we let them down. I sure have no intention of spending my Army career being known as the idiot who couldn't stand a little light breeze and shirked his duty." Then he said something in response to a female reporters question regarding silly purposeless personal risk... "I wouldn't expect you to understand. It's an enlisted man's thing." God bless the rascal... In a time in our nation's history when spin and total b.s. seem to have become the accepted coin-of-the-realm, there beat hearts - the enlisted hearts we all knew and were so proud to be a part of - that fully understand that devotion to duty is not a part-time occupation. While we slept, we were represented by fine men who fully understood their post orders and proudly went about their assigned responsibilities unseen, unrecognized and in the finest tradition of the American Enlisted Man. Folks, there's hope. The spirit that George S. Patton, Arliegh Burke and Jimmy Doolittle left us ... survives.
On the ABC evening news, it was reported recently that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabel approaching Washington, DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They refused. "No way, Sir!"
Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment; it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.
Very, very proud of our soldiers in uniform

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To live for something larger than myself. To value life and the creator of it.

To hold and live in gratefulness instead flying by it with highway speed.

There is an account where a battle ship was sinking and the 3 or 4 Chaplains were scrambling trying to help the soldiers when they realized there were not enough life jackets for all the men.

The 4 Chaplain's gave their life jackets to the next 4 men they met. Knowing full well it meant their death.

The Chaplain's held each other as they drowned in the oily sea.

"Greater Love has no man that he lay down his life for another."

These Chaplain's knew they were going home to heaven and they wanted to allow 4 men the opportunity to do the same.

Sunshine, barbecues, camping at the beach, a day off work. That's fine, but along with it, how about a few moments of grateful prayers for the price paid both on the battle field and on the cross.

Devotion to duty is not a part time occupation.

Come see It is I !!

Come sit and see it is I.
How I care, I laugh, How I handle the serious stuff.

Come see it is I.
How deep is my love and powerful my courage.
For it is I, who make Lions bold.

It is I, who cracks up in laughter making Giraffes necks so long and
rat fish so ugly.

It is I, that gave you the mind you have to build tree houses and catch pollywog's in the spring.
And it is I who nudged your Grandpa to give you his jack knife.
It is I who brought that wisp of air to lift your kite to the sky.

Tell me was it not I, who turned that Norwegian girl's eye your way?
And now after all these years blesses you every day.

It is I, that gave you the man of your father and the love of your mother.

It was your Father in Heaven I, who was there for your tears, and carried you through all these years.

It is I, this day, this moment for you, always.

Toolbox Of Truths

Here is a collection of truths I picked up along the way from various sources and my own experience.

TOOLBOX OF TRUTHS

We were designed to live for others and not just for self.

To trust in him and not our self .

I have nothing to prove, nothing to loose. My worth is in Christ.

I can take risks of his design.

I will never leave you or reject you.

I will always love you.

Young people can do a lot, if they are allowed to.

GOD sometimes gives himself without the help of man.

It was his death not his strength that his kingdom was established.

My broken places are my life places .

Truths that I learned in the dark , was when I stood still enough to hear his whisper of life.

To see his authority, and receive from him his encouragement,to see that regardless of life's circumstances, he is able.

GOD will bring people to you to help.

A man will do the opposite of what he feels like doing.

Trust GOD to take care of people you care so deeply for.

The less choices you make a part from GOD the less fear you will have about the future.

GOD is in all that touches you.

GOD enjoys fishing, hiking, go karts, presents, great food, laughing.

GOD is as close as you want him to be.

The more you look at who you are in Christ the more you will find out about yourself.

GOD delights in the small things of your everyday.

In order to trust, you have to trust. Faith is taking a sure bet risk.

GOD is GOD, not some genie or imaginary friend. Seeing that he is boss is the beginning of being wise.

Somethings you will not know until heaven. But GOD has not left you comfortless.

when it comes to loving someone, open rebuke is better than not knowing.

GOD created me in his mind before he ever created the earth.

GOD knows me better than I know myself.

GOD never calls me a failure.

We are always given the choice to forgive or live with bitterness.

Be aware of unbroken intellect in your life.

To see my strength as weakness and use GODs strength is what it is, to be a man.

GOD reassures us that we are known, loved, and we can endure, more than gives specific directions to our circumstances. It's a part, of us, following by faith the Shepherd.

Happiness is on his terms, in him, not on my own. To not relieve my own unhappiness but go to Christ and drink deep from the happiness in him.

Beware of the pride of social smoothness.

To call out life and beauty in others.

I want my life story, to read in spite of all my failures, fears, confusions, trials, I trusted GOD,

Not so super villian, Ughly Man

I suspect every one has a situation that tends to brings out the sinful side. For me it's driving in congested traffic. I shock myself in how quickly I can become ugly. Yesterday the Friday before Memorial weekend and here I am in Tacoma, this is the third session of bumper to bumper traffic and it is only 1 PM .
People are cutting in and just being stupid and I feel my temperature rising. After informing the latest driver that he is a Bozo, something I'm sure came as no surprise to him.
I look and lying in the passenger seat next to me asleep is both of our 2 small dogs. Gracie raises one eye because I'm expounding my intimate expressions, but Ruthie just sleeps.
The scene reminds me of what my mom once said, "I would be a pretty nice person if it wasn't for you kids."

I figure if I am this ugly, I have used up all of my goodness, so I say "your patience Lord, your Love".

And instantly chariots of fire clear a path for me and I am escorted by beautiful angels.
OK so maybe it doesn't go quite that way, but what does take place is I draw from GOD's ability, his patience, his love. And if my attitude is really ugly I start thanking GOD for all my blessingss.
Sounds like a formula, oh it is , GOD so desires us to use him and live in him.

Pondering the fragrance of GOD

It is said that 70% of what you taste is by what you smell. I don't know if that is true for I love ice cream and it doesn't have a noticeable fragrance.
I do like those mystery smells that ignite some memory that you can't quite recall, but you know that smell was a part of it.
Farm smells do it for me. Fresh cut grass, or the dusty fragrances of summer. There is the smell of the first rain after a hot summer. And the new smell of spring.
Up in our home in Alaska the muskeg and vegetation give huge bouquets of fragrances.
I have childhood connections with certain smell like carrots pulled from the ground. There's just something about the dirt and carrot combo you can't find in the market.

Truths from GOD are like those smells. It is definitely a part of who he is, but not the whole thing.
They are the foretaste of what will be when we sit at the great wedding banquet table.

Have you ever thought about the fragrance of GOD? Will fragrances have colors as well in heaven?

My wife enjoyed so much a book she read about acceptable sacrifices, did you ever consider our gifts of who we are, a fragrance to GOD, much like the incense is symbolic of our prayers?

I reckon GOD might of called me a little stinker before, but a lot of other people have done that as well.

My earthly father had a distinct fragrance, it wasn't bad , it was him.
My heavenly Father has a distinct fragrance about himself and it is everywhere. Behold the GOD of all fragrances.

Don't Let Daffy Duck Stupid Rob You

To the one who knows , it's the father.
To others, it's a little bit out there.
But it is, GOD, revealing himself,
and anyone trying to put you down
what GOD has shown himself to be to you,
is Daffy Duck stupid.
GOD reveals himself of his choosing and design.
receive and accept it .
For his gifts will stretch you to mountain top highs
and soul deep seas.
Upon the spirit of his delight, painting sunsets in the skies,
it is his untouched meadows of himself, the gift he gives to you.

Abundantly More Than We Could Ever Imagine

This single day there was:

fog on the water

baby grizzly bear

beautiful blue skies

seals and sea lions

spin casting for salmon

rock fish contest

The smell of camping and Forrest

still waters

Then in the last 10 minutes of this last day
a 16 year old boy catches a 112 pound halibut

Dad whooping and hollering

Boy grunting reeling in such a large fish

All the "it's huge" comments

then the many dead fish pictures

cleaning the fish, cleaning the boat

Bowl of AnneBeth's great clam chowder
and fresh bread

packing fish

exhausted and grateful

all in one day

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In Alaska I have had some incredible glory unto glory wonderful days.
And what makes them so special is the wonderful friends I have experienced them with.
There is Ken and Joe, George and Jack, Annebeth, Wanda, Sandra. Incredible adventures in pristine enchantingly wild hidden worlds of South East Alaska.
I so wish, I could recall the memories better.
But what does remain is the love and respect for those guys I lived it with.
And the knowledge that these guys will be with me when together we do the big adventures upstairs.
Stay Tuned , Eye has not seen or ear heard all GOD has in store for us upstairs.

I Get To Sit

I get to sit in joyful delight.
I get to sit and just let time go by.
The clicking of second hand,'
go ahead and click away.
I get to sit and enjoy this moment
this particular way.
La, de, da, de, da,
hummmy,hum, hum, he.
For just this moment it's wasted time for me.

A Time Like Now

With no direction of thought
I am with my I AM.

A time to enjoy the ease of mind,
and have not the need to move.

A time for myself and the Spirit of GOD within.

To rest in the still waters of HIM.

Waiting

9 years old, Christmas Eve afternoon about 4:00. I walk around and around on the rockery that circles the Italian prune tree in the front yard. My sole purpose is to make time go by faster so I can get to open Christmas gifts. The fulfillment of dreams come true.

The power goes out, the house is cold, the food in the freezer is thawing and only cold water. We wait it's day 4 and powerless to change any of it.

Sitting in the back of the classroom next to the radiator by the window, on a May afternoon this Junior Higher is tired of waiting. There are forts to build, fish to catch, adventures to take. He looks at the clock again and groans.

Soo very sick, sitting in a chair too sick to think clearly. The far recesses of my mind remind me, 13 more days until the operation and healing can begin. Until then, I sit between layers of time waiting.

Will I get to see her? Will this be the day? Love fulfilled her declaring she likes me too?

In the dentist chair, body rigid as the drilling and scraping goes on and on, on my teeth.
The reverberating drill sound and the annoyance of gag. It makes time drag forever.

Waiting for test results from the MRI. Thoughts prophesying what life will be like if the prognosis is bad. Half my heart preparing for sorrow, Half my heart hanging onto hope. I wait valuing the moments that I still don't know.

He who orchestrates time knows all too well, us who are subject to it.
He knows the waiting is also the fulfillment as much as the fulfillment.
Look how much is being done while we are waiting to see him face to face.

Pelican Alaska Goodbye

Quiet warm goodbyes of good people that care,
weave in deep my parting of Pelican by ferry.

Eyes that say I care, you matter, touch the cockles of my heart
on this unusual warm day.

Heading south for home, ancient snow spotted mountains
assure me they will be there when I return.

Distant patches of blue, framed in white clouds
foreshadow adventures to come.

The dark green water slides by and the slight breeze
returns Pelican memories, my heart will never forget.

I look deep into forests of hidden life untouched,
except for the pleasure of it creator.
The sea as well lives to the same dictates of the one who loves.

Looking out over the light green of the river flats,
guarded by seagulls on the shore.
Streams dark with salmon, instinctively know it's
August and time to head home.

Goodbye my dear friend Ken you and your family I always carry in my heart.
We have laughed some wonderful fish aboard,
that has kept us connected while even apart.

Goodbye, board games, guys against the girls.
Dunngie crabs, AnneBeth rolls, along with Joe's latest smoked creation,
tiny veggies from the garden and delectable desserts and more.
Gives plenty of memories to return to these shores.

Goodbye, golf kart rides at sunset or sitting on the deck
watching boats come into town.

Goodbye, heart felt handshakes, and potluck lunches after church.

Goodbye, little town of pelican your soul and feet
boardwalked to the sea.

Goodbye, rhythm and wonder of Pelican, you are carried deep in me.

Broken back snake

At the foot of Mount Rainer near the town of Mineral out in the toolies lies Pleasant Valley Christian Camp. Once a small sawmill, it was purchased and used as a camp.

In the early years, all they had was big old army tents, and I remember sleeping in a partially refurbished chicken coop.

Now they have all sorts of accommodations complete with a swimming pool.

Camp for me was great, it provided a new audience to ply all my shenanigans on, and I was quite skillful in acting stupid right up to the point of getting kicked out.

It was at this particular time when the adult population was losing their sense of cherishing me that broken back snake saved my hide.

At camp, there was a dandy stream that even sported very small trout and being I was, way, past done doing little group activities, I decided to explore the downstream regions of this fine stream.

Now every kid knows the further you go the better the adventure gets, and I had gone a considerable distance when I came across a fellow camper sitting on a rock looking completely bummed out.

His name was Norman I think, he had a flat liner personality, and so he didn't fit in all that well with the other campers. In fact, he had been trying for two days to get the adults to let him go home.

But this was in the old days where kids didn't get sent home, in fact, I'm not sure they even had a telephone at the camp.

Regardless Norman had traveled the way of the stream to find his place to be miserable, when I stumbled upon him.

After talking to him and hearing his story, I tried to cheer him up. I showed him a Gardner snake with a broken back I'd found and was carrying in my pocket to use later at a more opportune occasion.

Norman gave the snake a different value, he was fascinated in having a pet, and it being a snake was way cool to him.

I told him all sorts of snake stories, and he ate it up. To me a broken back snake was not good for anything but a prank on girls. But to Norman it was a gift from GOD sent from heaven above.{city kids are a little different}

So I gave it to him, and he had the time of his life with his new snake.

We wandered back to camp, and as we got closer we met the adults who had come looking for us.

With a considerable amount of embellishment of the truth, I convinced them, I knew of their concern for Norman and went to find him.

They could see Norman's spirits were high, and they praised me for helping him out.

I down played it and certainly didn't reveal the huge role Broken Back Snake had in Norman's new found happiness.

Norman did great the rest of the week, and I didn't get kicked out, just warned several times.

The snake was worthless to me, but made all the difference to Norman.

We serve a GOD that specializes in taking the things that are not and using them greatly.

So maybe there is hope for me, because I am the one with the broken back now.

New Dreams

There is nothing more rotten than working, pouring concrete. I was about 16 or 17 and Dad had to put in exposed aggregate sidewalks for a whole development before the bank would give him more money. Therefore brother Chris and I poured concrete and set forms everyday for a whole summer. To this day the feel of scraping form boards and digging foundations with pick and shovel hold no love for me.
What made things worst was Dad couldn't pay us anything until the end of summer.
What kept me going day after day was my dream to have my own motorcycle.
The one I wanted was an enduro 250 which was a 1/2 off road 1/2 street bike.
I had already put thousands of miles on the bike with my imagination. In fact on the way home from church sitting in the back of the old station wagon I would imagine myself flying along on my bike.
The day finally came when we got paid, I had located a bike in Seattle to buy.
I asked Dad for a ride to the ferry dock and on the way he asked what was I going to do in Seattle? so I told him about the bike and he said No.
My heart died a million deaths how could a person be so incredibly mean and uncaring?
Fine I said as I got out of the car and ran down the dock ramp to the boat. I'll show you.
And for the next 3 days I spent all my summers money foolishly.
At the end I had a few new clothes for school a watch I bought at a pawn shop and some fun memories of living high on the hog. But my bike dream died.

It would be more years of dead dreams before I would discover that GOD has dreams for me of his design, and it isn't until I let my dreams die that I would have eyes to see his.
ted in my word I have said over and over I am your inheritance, can you now see that the word inheritance can be changed to dream? In me are a zillion motorcycle size dreams come true and my off road adventures stretches to the end of eternity.

Toby and Susie Cupcake

Every Summer for the last couple years I would write a story for the one or two young teens that attended church. I happened to find a copy of such a story and throw it in for fun.



Toby Listened From a hidden position outside the city hall window.
For there was no way a room full of State patrol Officers would let a fourteen year old teenager in on rescuing the beautiful Susie cupcake. Who was Toby’s true love being held hostage by 3 bad, gnarly dudes in the last house up past Tom and Minnie’s.
Toby listened as they made plans for an all side’s assault including launching shells from a homeland security boats. But for now they had to wait until a sergeant flew in from Juneau and the fog was thick.
Stuffed shirts and biggy wiggys, Toby thought, by the time they get their act together his beautiful Susie Cupcake will be shot and the Bad guys gone.
Not to mention the mess they will leave in the house, and Toby knew all too well the woman who lived there and she don’t cotton to messy bad guys.
Well, Toby said to himself, if it’s got to be done and done right leave it Toby . This he thought as he crawled away from the city Hall fiasco.
Toby made his way to his secret fort where he opened the padlock to an old army foot locker that held his arsenal of needed equipment.
For this mission he would need 3 smoke bombs, 6 sets of 15 firecrackers, 39 bottle rockets taped into sets of 5 and 6 seal bombs. A package of small birthday candles, roll of duct tape,mcgyver knife and a lighter, crammed into his camouflaged ruck sack completed his ensembo.
Jumping on his four wheeler Toby took off to collect some improvised equipment.
First stop the school where he picked up 2 portable tape recorders. Next to Wanda’s clothes line where he grabbed a black shirt and pants that belonged to George.
And last to the fire station where he picked up 2 bull horns.
With all the equipment he needed he went to the telephone booth at the head of the ramp to change .
Into his black ninja outfit thanks to George, it was a little wet and with the help with duct tape he managed to rig them to stay on.
Next to his 4 wheeler where he got a hand full of grease and then to the bathroom at the top of the ramp where he applied the grease to his face.
On the mirror he mapped out his plan of attack.
Sure the bathroom was a greasy mess but he knew Duffy harbor master elite and custodian of the chamber pot would forgive the mess, recognizing that it was all for the good of saving Susie cupcake of pelican.
With plan in mind Toby takes and prepares his arsenal taking the small birthday candles he strips the bottom half of the wax off leaving the wick where he attaches fuses of the fireworks and bottle rockets. Next he yells cop commands onto the tape recorders and last he tapes the triggers of the bull horn to the on position.
Mission ready he takes off.
His first obstacle was the road blocked by the Alaska staters up by the new fuel tanks.
Popping the 4 wheeler in a spin Toby heads back down the hill, goes up past the church past Ken’s and Royce’s and sneaks down the path of the brother’s house.
No one knew this terrain better than Toby he grew up on these bear trails and now even in this dense fog he knew exactly where he was.
On his belly wiggling through fresh bear scat the targeted house now in view.
Toby makes his way to the house setting his explosives, knowing and expecting that at any moment bullets may be flying his way.
Around the house he went trying each window for an entry.
At last lady luck smiled on him as his last window, a bathroom window opened.
Not only was it opened but he could see his heart beat of passion Susie Cupcake gagged and tied to a chair in the living room.
“Those creeps,” Toby thought they are going to pay big time for hurting my Susie cupcake.
And with anger of impending justice and courage of all brave men who have fought before Toby restrains himself.
Checking his watch 3 seconds to detonation, lighting the 3 smoke bombs on short fuses he chucks them to three sides of the house.
And as expected the fire crackers and bottle rockets go off.
He could hear the bad guys breaking the kitchen windows and shooting at their imagined threat.
Toby hoped they wouldn’t hit the tape recorders shouting orders through the bullhorns.
In the midst of this mayhem, holding MacGyver knife in mouth thinking I’m coming Susie cupcake, I’m coming.
Toby opens the bathroom window and dives through head first.
Now even the best of plans has their glitches.
So maybe he hadn’t planned that the bathroom toilette was right under the bathroom window and that the toilette seat was up when he dove head first.
Or that bear scat he was covered with made it extremely difficult to get out.
All I can tell you was,instantly the bad guys were gone, Susie cupcake was gone.
But MOM wasn’t. Instead of a grateful Susie He got the mom with the voice of an angel of death.
What in the blazes are you doing? Get out of that toilette and look what you have done to my freshly painted bathroom, bear scat everywhere.
The house stinks like smoke bombs the dogs is under our bed and your fireworks have caught the fire wood pile on fire and what are you wearing?
All I can say is you better run before I catch you.
So our dejected hero ran for his life. Heading to the garbage dump he thought, this is appropriate I feel in dumps, so I might as well be in one.
Sitting on stump that overlooks the dump, Toby said to GOD” Well here I am, in deep scat once again and like usual there’s no one to help but you.
I never much thought about it GOD, but what if I didn’t have you?
I would be worst off, then I already am,
My friends say I’m weird. They see my goody 2 shoes, do the right thing, be a good church boy.
But hey I’ll take being weird, if I can have you.
They don’t see that it’s more than singing songs, nice people, and good chow after church.
What my friends don’t see is that I have you in me.
And it’s time like this that I really need you.
Our friendship the 2 of us.
GOD you are real, not churchy like they think.
No you make the difference in who I am
The difference that makes us weird.
Hey GOD I think I just called you weird and it’s all right
Besides it’s not like there’s a lot of guys who would hang around a guy dressed in George’s clothes
Held on with duct tape and covered with grease and bear scat.
But you do and you always do.
We may be weird GOD but I’m sticking with you!
Besides Have I told you I love you
I love you for me loving me
And do you think you can do something about me and mom and the mess I made at the house,
no offense but I feel I’m too young to go to Heaven quite yet. If you know what I mean.

8 years old

On my back on the grassy bank of the pond I stare at the white clouds in the blue sky. No pending thoughts for I am 8 years old and there are years before I need to be home for dinner.
Shirt and Shoeless I feel the prickles of the grass and the moisture of the earth as I live beyond myself to my imagination in the sky.
In typical youth abandonment to the moment I stretch my arms wide and imagine I can see the whole earth turning with me on it.
I need nothing else in my mind for I am 8 .

I am now fifty something and only in Christ can I find 8 year old
abandonment to be only what I am this moment without any strings attached.


Who said you have to carry all your carrying?
You told yourself to bolster your self-made importance, you told yourself it was your job.
The motive behind it you justified with nobody cares like you do.
Your reason was for your own pleasure of significance.
Now the burden has worn you out.
When was the last time you felt 8 years old?
I have a lifetime of 8 year old enjoyment planned for you.
Trust me to handle what you deem as important, see if I am not totally able.
Now you, you take my cue when you must act fifty something and when you can be 8 years old.

“Cast your cares on me for I care for you”

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Laid low how low?
Lower than whale poop.
When I have nothing left but GOD, then for the first time, I realize that he is enough. Then I realized he is more than I could ever imagined, and I saw that he gave it to me, for he put me in himself.
I marvel that I can carry HIM who is not hurry, in my hurriedness of life.
To live with a quietness of heart on the inside while the zig zag of life flies around my head like flies.
The heart of who he is, is larger than mine, he makes room for weaknesses I cannot, his mercy is alive and is full of love and light and life.

“Jesus went often alone into the wilderness to pray”

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To him who knows
My house in Pelican Alaska sets away from the view of the busyness of the harbor. We can peek and see a little bit of the water and the snow clad mountains. And the occasional eagle flies by and often the caw of a raven can be heard or a chirp of a chipmunk. But the house is cut off from the rush of Pelican town. There are those who would feel sorry for us not being on the waterfront where we could see more. But the lord knew what we needed. He knew I didn’t need more hurriedness, I needed more of him. Thank you Lord for hemming me in so I could see more of you.

Entrust all who you are, even that which you don’t know is you and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways give him who you are and he will show you “your way in him”

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Gracie is my dog ½ poodle ½ spaniel she has one job and that is to observe everything that happens. Since she doesn’t talk she has fewer distractions from herself to do her job.
She watches every little thing that happens, hears faint little sounds and will let us know about them.
She is the picture of the vigilant GOD toward us, our front and rear guard our alpha and omega. He is, so we don’t have to be.
It is the unlearned art of being a dumb but cherished lamb that doesn’t have to lead but follow. Attentive is the way we should be toward HIM.

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Trust GOD who is at work, I used to think GOD needed my help to be holy.
There is not any good in ted by ted of ted so why not stopnsave myself agony and let GOD be GOD and do his work in me.
Have you ever noticed that he who drives the car cannot enjoy the scenery along the way. Let go Let GOD and you will see what you have missed for so long.
GOD’s expectation is in himself not in me.

Assorted Thoughts

Evangelism is the fun of sharing the most wonderful of wonderfuls to another person.
There are those who share HIM through the way of the head and there are those HIM through the way of the heart and both are of HIM for HIM.

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One of the beautiful gifts GOD has showed me is the incredible world of sounds behind the rush. I call them the under sounds of silence. They orchestrate and paint new vistas with sounds of color I have never saw to see or sat to hear.
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There is a rest in HIM that quietly and tenderly energizes my hurt soul. It allows me to like a child dance and spinning the light of HIMSELF.
IT resurrected a tired dull heart and made it sparkle bright as I listened to bright pop songs of the 60’s&70’s.
Twirling in the light of my father with a mindless delight of just having fun with him is what I look forward to heaven for.
Thank you Lord for the appetizer
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I used to see loss as sorrow
Now I see it as a gift and I am grateful
“And only one came back and thanked him”

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Zeph 3:17 Rest in His LOVE
Where I am sitting the trees in front of me do nothing but grow they respond to life sap within them.

In Him

I used to think I was destined for greatness.
Now I see that greatness is not in greatness, but in HIM. And he invites me to come and get all of HIM I want. Why would I miss out of the zillion fascinating parts of himself for the lame crud of ted.
Wisdom is living in the little’s of HIM and knowing in your heart it is the big!

Peace, from myself

I used to run my mind so hard and fast, I crowded Jesus out. Even if it were for him, about him and to HIM, I wanted my speed, of my mind.
Now after a gazillion times of him not obeying me. I realize I make for a lousy GOD, especially to myself. That in him is peace from myself.
So walk in a manner that guards yourself from self. Trust not your own understanding, allow your heart to be directed by HIM.
Responding your heart, your desire, your love, your significance to him, will allow his power, his courage, his love, his wisdom to live through you

Dreams of my own Design

I used to imagine dreams of my own design.
Now I look to him who is the reality of dreams and marvel at the master of design. And his invitation to live in HIM.

Better than me

When I was younger I chased after the Christian rules thinking that in them I would find life. Only to find that the right, simpler way was to tend to HIM who can take care of me.
Better than me.

Can it be

Can it be that my trying and imagining is not of GOD’s design?
That what I call character flaws in myself could be in part GOD’s intentions?
For example I think by talking while others think and then talk.
I communicate by emotions because I think and look at life with emotions.
I have no problem seeing how my weaknesses in these areas have taken their toll over my life but to value them when held correctly as an attribute is an interesting rediscovery.

It is finished

It is finished
When all the moments connect and the last pull of the ribbon is given
The gift is completed by the words it is finished
Pain that robbed all source of comfort
Demanded love to conquer
Evil that tasted gall to the lips
Was the suffering of his death trip
Dark loneliness that no one cared
By jeering remarks and angry stares
Love for the races with its many faces
In spite of the pain he cared
The pain beyond the insane
That only love could slain
It is finished is what he said
For us new life to begin
We will hear those words again
When the final judgment is given
And all of pain and sin is driven
Never to reappear

Treasure in the dark

From time to time I have come along side those who have been deep in the black night of life. I have had dark nights but there are others who have struggled far more.
I have been asked to explain the dark night trials to those who have not been there. Below is my attempt and my encouragement for light and salvation.
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Treasure in the Dark
Hurt Heart stared at the dying embers caring not that the last of the wood was burning to end.
The dark stone cottage, the cold and the black about him, was the appropriate cloak of his not caring.
Inside Hurt Heart gave his attention into falling deeper into the vortex well of Black.
Black, with soft gentle words of comfort bade him deeper, deeper. The deeper you go more comfort you’ll find. There is incredible freedom from self in free falling, freefall, freefall, freefall you get rest in death. Free from hurt and sorrow from failure from always hurting others. Free from feeling anything, free, free, free-fall all the way, rest in death.
Who really cares? Death is warm and light, it is peace and there are no burdens, it is where you are finally free.
Hurt Heart exhausted of weariness was deep in the well; he could no longer see the top nor cared.
His mind was blurring to its final end, he breathes in what could be the final breath.
But there is one tiny part, one speck in his mind that has to die, the last one until all is done.
The last speck has what’s left of his attention and he laboriously raises one eyebrow to look at it in his mind.
It is a speck of light so distant in his mind he is surprised it even exists,
For what seems like forever Black, layer upon layer has been his comfort, his thoughts, his joy his truth to freedom, peace and love.
Speck who are you?

Why haven’t you left long ago? Can’t you see my love for Black? He has my all.
Curious speck, you are the fly that avoids my swat. and you fear not.
Hurt Heart laughs at the irony that he even desires to contemplate speck as mattering.
So in joy of falling, he falls deeper. But as he falls he notes that speck is still there and changes not in size.
So he stops falling to find out why.
Speck I am amazed that I care about that which I don’t care about.
Why are you the same size? I fell deeper.
And why am I using my last brain cell on you?
Still speck does nothing
Resisting Blacks pull of desire to fall,Hurt Heart tends to specks existence.
Around him all of Blacks comforts surround him. Years of invested heart sorrows are the familiar sofas of his familiar Black.
But why speck?
How can I care about what I don’t care about?
Why does speck care about being here?
It is then that Hurt Heart realizes though not knowing how, that speck has always been there.
So Speck, you are my final cobweb of my final curtain call, I didn’t expect you, but I suppose there has to be a last one.
I give, who are you? What are you?
Again he knows he knowsm yet doesn’t know why he knows, or how he knows why he knows or really what he knows.
His head spinning around some goulash of she sells seashells at the seashore and caring about that which he doesn’t care Hurt Heart slows the fall and thinks,
how can I know that speck knows?
Why does speck care to be with me even though I fall away from him?
There is slight movement in the dark that gets Blacks attention.
It is the heart of Hurt Heart turning slightly to speck.
First surprise, then fear, then anger, grips Black, but he has been here before and is wise enough not to change anything for that will just amplify speck.
Feeding low subliminal words he backgrounds a pleasing falling, falling, falling.
Hurt Heart pushes Speck away but Speck moves not nor changes.
Confusion frustrates Hurt Heart head for justification for falling, embracing Black, was no one cared, and I don’t matter.
Hurt Heart in attempt to see his adversary moves closer to Speck and sees his reflection in Speck.
He moves away but his reflection is always there but changes not in size.
Again Hurt Heart knows he is in Speck and has always been.
Very unsettling Hurt Heart sits on a black sofa to think.
Nice familiar sofa, you I know, so why am I known and have been known. How can I be here and there?
How can Speck exist when in every way I have given my heart to Black?
Black answer me!
Who is S.peck? Why does he care? Why am I in Him? How does he know who I am?
Black answer me
Why is there just darkness and comfort?
Why aren’t there answers?
Hurt Heart turns to Speck and knows who Speck is.
You are, aren’t you?
You are truth not just dark comfort.
I am in you and because of it I mean something to you, In fact I am yours to be loved and care for if I turn to you.
Speck there is nothing of me that is of value.
You are not just a speck of light.
You are the one who created me, and know me and yet you still love me.
I am in you because from you I was created
You are GOD!
You are JESUS!
You are my life, save me!
Suddenly death was swallowed by life.
Darkness by light
Hurt Heart was now Full Heart
And Speck?
Well you know no matter what size,
He is savior, Lord, Healer, Lover, and Life, in him is no darkness.
Speck is the authority of GOD in fullness
And the fullness of Full Hearts life.
For Full Heart darkness became grayness the well of falling faded and in its place.
He that is light became Full Hearts attention.
Black was still around with just faded outline of his dark sofas
But they held no comfort or attention.
What did, was GOD! GODS love, his invitation for Full Heart to look at him,at his love for him.
To be with GOD the father was hope and healing and incredible relief.
Relief that he did not have to run his own life, he got to do only that which GOD desired.
Relief from mind that any time his head was messed up with thoughts, he could place his thoughts back in GOD. His GOD was his father not of confusion but of order.
Full heart easily traded in his hopelessness and chose to look and live in trust that the GOD of light had a plan and purpose his life.
And there was healing, healing he knew was going on in his soul all the time. He could sense that GOD was tending to his deep wounds, healing deep, deep sorrowful wounds of heart.
Full heart delighted spending time alone with GOD. In those times he got to live in happiness, everyday he was discovering new ways GOD was a part of who he was.
GOD was his whole hearts desire, in his presence he would laugh and twirl as a child, enjoying being loved, cherished.
His friends tried but couldn't fully understand him but that was alright for Full Heart lived in real time with he who is truth. His friends were happy he was getting along alright.
To Full Heart everything appeared new, for he saw GOD in all of his creation.
But most of all, he was completely thrilled by GOD the incredible colors of his love, ever changing, ever alive and still Him.
Full Heart was now looking all the time at what GOD wanted to show him. To see what GOD was looking at, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling, doing.
IN the past he was wondering who he was, now the more he saw GOD the more he knew himself.
Full Heart gave up trying to make something of his life he enjoyed following where GOD took him. His life was not defined by his past.
Since he had so many failures he dropped them and put GODS son robe of righteousness. Jesus said this is my robe of perfect righteousness, perfect success, you may wear it; it is always in you to wear. Full Heart so full of this incredible treasure twirled around in the robe of Christ’s righteousness. This is me? This me? This is you yet it is me? And GOD made known to him it was.
Life for Full Heart was different on the outside his bouts of physical pain and the usual troubles life’s brings was still there. But during these times he shared them with GOD who was there for him in the midst of it.
Full Heart laughingly called it being an air head for GOD. For no longer did he walk or carry life’s everyday burdens alone, he often asked GOD what is it you want me to think right now? And in doing so burden was shifted.
Black was ever vigilant trying to get Full Heart back. He would bring significant people into his life to push his buttons hoping anger would nullify GOD’s light. He would use old tricks trying to convince him he was a failure, looser, nobody respects you. But Full Heart spent time with God, ran to him to see again what he had to say ,had to feel about what was going on. And GOD being truth was love and life.
Held in fascination by GOD of Light now he had identity, purpose, love, success by association, righteousness and joy in spite of life.
He had found a way to escape himself that was so entangled with Black. And found himself and so much more in GOD of Light.
Full Heart had clear sight that the more he abandoned himself into GOD of Light the more he saw himself. This day was the now and to walk the course of this day with GOD of Light no matter how trivial was the center of GOD of light’s desire. All the fullness of purpose and the holiest he could be on the planet.
He grew, in how to live, not by what the eyes saw but by how GOD of light saw him.
Full Heart was amazed how often GOD of light wanted to laugh and delight. He seemed to be always delighting. He could crawl up in GOD of Lights lap with a concern and look at all the ways God of light would care for that concern and how thoroughly he was a part of every part of it. Amazed always amazed how deep fathomlessly deep his love is. Amazed and comforted God of lights peace was full assurance.
Full Heart, full of heart said it this way,”Unsurpassing, indescribable swallowed by life and light of GOD, My GOD!
And all this by the treasure in the dark.