Discovery of Beauty

Sharing in His Spirit which is not hindered by life's urgents, I am learning to value beauty with Him. I know that beauty is only valued if valued. So many pass by even knowing it is beautiful, but still pass by. Have you ever pulled weeds in a flower bed and only cared aboutgetting the weeds pulled? It is the way of the Father to show us how to walk in the dew of the morning and see the dew. A shared life, of seeing what he is showing me. A shared life of living everyday in tangible love between us. A shared life of the same heart beating. A shared life with the one who is life without end, full of light and beautiful delights that we had all along. Father thank you Open my eyes that I might behold the one who holds me in himself.

This youtube message has so much truth and beauty, enjoy the invitation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

On Going Memorial

I recently listened to a woman share beautifully of her Father's service in the military. It was the beginning of my day of remembrance, latter on AnneBeth and I went to a cemetery on Bainbridge Island then in the evening we watched on TV the memorial service in Washington DC. What moved my heart this year was the sacrifice the loved ones at home continue to make in sorrow of love. They are the caretakers of those hurting around them when inside I am sure they just want to heal, to value, to honor their lost in quiet holiness. In a world where everyone around you wants you normal and happy the dark shadow of sorrow holds you at bay and it is not just another day it is this moment, this long moment without breath and unimaginable heart ache. Sorrow that is valuing the loss of the loved one. The often heard “gone but not forgotten” is the wallpaper of each day but do others see and value what I have lost? It appears not, except for those who will slow down enough to hold life with you. Only GOD can value the full depth of love, sorrow, it is the holiness of who he is that can hold what goes beyond my mind and heart. There seems to be no control to understand this journey apart from him. Willing myself to be different is futile and reeks with hypocrisy to the loved one, and to the reality of what is being felt and not seen . They say time heals all things, I would say GOD uses time to allow us to be a part of him valuing in full that which means so much to us and in doing so he heals us. Watching that which cannot be seen, feeling that which cannot be expressed yet inside is journeying through a war torn land of sorrow, we have only a nail pierced hand, yet it is enough for he leads with love when there is no light. Tiny things you would of never noticed now have value, these tiny things become the backdrop of new life, like small flowers that appear on a black war torn land after the war is over. The way you look and value love and kindness, the look in peoples eyes as they care deeply for the things that matter. New life reminders like babies and children playing not mindful of anything except the fun in front of their nose. And you see you are deeply richer in life because you did have that person in your life. Memorial day is not only for our soldiers that have paid the ultimate price but also their loved ones that continue Memorial onward.

Halfwit Whited

goot morning com radio
It is a gimp morning not much sleep last night and left foot is playing an orchestra of sinister impressions of "I've gout you babe". In between fog banks of myself I stretch out long minutes to be in Him with out the desire or need to think. Lately I have been seeing how everything apart from God is demanding me to do it's bidding, I watched a TV show last night, the show wanted me to think their way and of course the ads desired that as well. But Papa wants me to do in him what I have to do. In him regardless of the do, is still the constant company of himself. It is that knowing awareness of his living life in me for me in the middle of hurriedness. It is the shared relationship at a in between conscious and subconscious awareness of himself. Well thar ya go, that pretty much describes me self today, I reckon being a halfwit ain't so bad if HE is the other half.

Brain Bandit

Brain bandit The assault came silent, infiltrated through the busyness of what had to be done today. Each item that needed attention had with it a list of tasks innocent in appearance and very doable . A small amount of time goes by just enough to adjust in your mind it's place. Then the next item comes it too very doable, it too with it's list. Now the brain bandit has momentum he skillfully adds layer upon layer of tasks each requiring your examining,decision making.But the bandit doesn't stop with you just handling it, he plays the list over and over so you are constantly rethinking, and rethinking your list. This adds hurriedness to accomplish the tasks so as to lessen the mounting burdens. Yet ever so subtle he slips more and more tasks into your brain until it is so full you find ways to escape the pressure. Brain bandit's favorite way to escape is by anger, snaping at anyone over anything. Then comes complaining that others are not doing their share. Followed by criticizing the faults of others to lessen the burden you are caring. It is about this time you can almost hear his evil laughter but he is clever enough not to make it known. In your new state of hating and handling it all. You realize you hate your life and since you are hurting and desire relief you bring it home to share with your love ones. Brain Bandit then adds this to the list for those at home to bear and he chuckles again. Resentment,memories of happier days, if onlys make their home placating your packed full head. Work harder, be the man, handle it, handle it. Stired in with who really gives a rip and served with others getting recognition and appreciation for what you did makes your self perception , crap. Brain Bandit's motto for you is " if it's going to be it's up to me." He desires you live in your mind apart from God Spirit in your heart. He is the expert at attaching tasks and junk to an endless line of burdens and then tells you, you are that long line. And then for no extra charge he loves to convince you,you are a looser. From the very beginning our Heavenly Father desired we should live life here on earth IN HIM, Which means he in real time particapates in what we are doing. This is the way we heard it growing up, that we should be mindful of God and add him to our life. It doesn't work, and if it does it doesn't last. You can only think about pink elephants in the room so long and then you think of other things. The truth to being in him is being a part of his agenda not him being apart of yours. As long as you hold the agenda you have all the joy , honor responsibility of the burden of it. And since you are sacrificing so much to carry all that, you will try to get life's value out of what you are doing. Which always falls short of your need to be valued. The Fathers agenda is the answer, wake up and say Lord what do you want to do today? Now you still have to go to work, and put the garbage out at the curb and stop and fill up with gas. but the differance is you are letting the Father dictate and be the one doing these things and you are following him. It is not a mind set it is a heart set you are hanging out with him watching what he is doing while you are doing it with him. He is always communicating with love, which looks like a million different ways often incredibly tiny but he shares with you how they are significant to him. And he shares them with you as he is loving you. At the same time untwisting the twisted stuff in you, healing you, enjoying you, valuing you. In fact everything that Brain Bandit works so hard to destroy the Father sets right. And since he is far greater than Brain Bandit he is able to redeem back all those years of living the lies of Brain Bandit. Plus there is no one as incredible as the company of GOD! Walking with him watching what he shows you, living with him is being loved. He is the completer the filler of the empty holes in ones heart. And he fills all day long. He is the river of himself inside you all the time, always loving. And you can have as much of him as you want. He takes that long lists of tasks and says follow me through the next one. Do you see that I am holding them? Do you see that I am not worried? Now look to me I will give you a portion to hold, I am letting you be a part of what I am doing. But it is important that you don't grab more than what I am asking you to hold. The key is keep feeding off how much I love you and am able to handle this list. You concentrate on your heart to me, following what I am doing and in return your mind will find peace. I will lead your mind by your heart, by all the receiving you get from me. You will learn that I can lead your life better than you. I will win you to trust me, you will see that I know you the real you more than you know your self. And I will lead you through incredible discoveries of who you are and who I am for you are a part of me far more than you are able to know. All this is done in our every days as we walk through the complicated mess of life. I am savior the one who saves his children from their messes. I am the one who is in every molecule seen and unseen of every problem. And I chose love, look for me in love for saving you out of messes of your making. Love is me, I lead by love, I heal by love, I inspire by love, and I love you, love you, love you! So if Brain Bandit comes at you let go of his hand or your own hand and grab mine for it is always there to love you, love you, love you!

The hammock of the moment

Good morning it is 4 AM the world is slower it has not awaken. Darkness blankets the speed of hurriedness and we all take a break. In quiet, stillness, I sit with papa, we don't have to go or do, just enjoy stillness. Being with God is very different, it is a life that is always off kilt, for he is always up to something and sometimes the most unusual is what he is not doing in hurriedness but in stillness. Off kilt and always spot on, in all ways, especially in love. Following him is watching him,being a part of what he is doing in the smack dab on what you are doing. Being mindful of what he might want you to see or do with him. And then there are those times like now where one can rest empty headed and enjoy the moment at hand, just because it is the moment at hand. Sickness is often a time when one lives in moments of time unencumbered with thoughts except the company of pain. Brain function goes out the door and grey daaaaaaaaaaaa takes it place. Yet in the grey daaaaaaaa Papa is there. Physical work is also times when Papa allows me in him to rest mentally. I believe one reason people enjoy gardening, is that nature does not travel the speed of man and to be a part of that world is to be away from our hurried world. The speed of our Fathers Spirit in us is life and light, it is salvation to our hurried self. One needs to walk so attentively to live in the spirit,in the slightest breathe he changes, each change turns my heart inward, deeper in him. This morning I get to sit here and swing in the hammock of the moment with him. Thank you Papa. You are the Papa of everyday moments I need so badly.

Setting my sail to the wind of his journey

Stillness lets me see who I am in him and who I'm not , It reveals what I grab apart from him I never really needed. All I hung on to, tried to achieve, robbed me from all I could of had. robbed me of his peace, his company, his Gentleness, his plans for me to be in him. Stillness allows me to live in the length of the present moment with him. ted be still and know the million ways I love you and how deep you are in me, for ever. Papa I lift my fragile, guarded heart and rest it deep in you .... I get to lay still , covered in your bright light of warm delight.. The world doesn't have anything that compares to you Father, so I'm just a passing through setting my sail to the wind of your journey.

Farm yard close The black and white Sheep , Charlie , sniffed the air and said I think he's coming. Judy who had the whitest coat of all the sheep in the stable said,"you better be right this time, I have missed him so much". Sure enough from down the road came the shepherd, he was enjoying the morning sunshine on his face and talking to his Heavenly Father who he loved so much. Charlie noticed that Rocky the Ram had spotted the Shepherd, but turned and walked back inside the stable to the darkest corner w here he stuck his head under a bunch of straw and cried quietly. Charlie looked at Rocky and then at the Shepherd, who now was sitting on a large rock way down by chicken shed. Why isn't he coming? Asked Judy, I don't know, maybe he's forgot how much we look forward to seeing him? Charlie replied. He doesn't forget anything he loves us all the time. Judy said forcefully. Well there he is over there and we are right here, why doesn't he come over? George the grey haired old goat wandered over, he was the smartest animal in the farm yard. Hey George , Judy said what's up with the shepherd, how come he doesn't come over here where we are? Old George the goat smiled affectionately at the shepherd sitting on the rock so far away and said, in his old goat voice said, you want him here? All you have to do is Close both eyes and see him with the other eye. What? Said Charlie you're crazy, if I close both eyes how can I see him? Old George just smiled and said I can, think about it. And he walked over to a sunny spot and laid down contentedly. He's crazy, Charlie said to Lucy. But Lucy was deep in thought, I don't know, he is the smartest animal on the farm, I just can't figure out how by closing my eyes I can get our shepherd over here to where we are. Charlie's attention went back to where Rocky was still crying under the straw. Judy what's wrong with Rocky? Oh I don't know he is always so moody gloomy. I just wish the shepherd would get here, he always tells me every morning that he loves me. Judy said. Mable the white face cow overhears what was just said and joins in, Can't he love you from over there on the rock? Doesn't he still love you even when he is away from you? He is not only over there on the rock, he is also right here... for right now we know we are loved and being loved. Judy thought about this and had to agree that yes she did know the shepherd loved her and was always loving her. Was this what the old goat meant in seeing with an eye when both eyes were closed? Charlie couldn't stand it any longer he went into the stable over to where Rocky the ram had his head under a bunch of straw. Rocky he said gently, are you OK? Leave me alone, nobody cares about me. What's wrong I care about you, said Charlie. I'm a ram the only ram on the farm nobody likes me because I am always rammimg into everyone and they get mad when I do it. Why don't you stop ramming into us asked charlie? I don't know I'm just not good in that area of my life yet. A lot of times I want to be and then a lot of times I don't want to be. And because of it nobody likes me. Charlie looks down the long driveway where the shepherd is still sitting on the rock, he can see him yawning and stretching just enjoying the moment in the morning sunshine. Why doesn't he come and take care of Rocky, He is so good at caring and loving. Looking at Rocky again Charlie says, ROCKY look at me I care about you and yes you do ram us a lot but you are a part of us, we are all a part of being the farm animal family. Really? Says Rocky Yes Really now come on lets go out and wait together for the shepherd. Right then the old goat walks by and says the shepherd is already here! Charlie rolls his eyes and says to Rocky that old goat gets crazier all the time, certainly he can see the shepherd is still way down the road sitting on the rock. The two of them join up with Mable the cow, Judy the sheep and the old goat waiting for the shepherd. There he is, why doesn't he come Judy says, I love him so much I wish I could do something for him. Old George the goat says, Charlie could show you how. What! Said Judy what has Charlie ever done for the shepherd? Ask Rocky and the old goat said and walked away. I tell you they don't call him crazy goat for nothing. So Charlie what have you done for the shepherd? Nothing, how could I he is way down there and I am right here. Mable the cow thought for a long time while looking at the shepherd way down the road. Let me get this straight she said, he's down there, were up here, but he still loves us and is loving us right now. So isn't he here even though he's there? YOU are going old goat crazy in the head. Said Charlie Am I? are you not loved and being loved right now Charlie? Yeah I suppose I am, well I know I am. Then it makes sense that the shepherd is with us right here. I suppose so but it is a little different. Being both and all. But it is still true! Mable replied. Isn't it interesting how many things happen to you before something occurs to you....... Said the old goat as he walked up to the animals at the fence, it reminds me of Tango the city dog that came to visit us on the farm and as soon as he got here he bolted out of the car and ran away. Then the shepherd sent old Toby the sheep dog who was snoring on the front porch to go get him. Lazily Toby got up and wandered off and found Tango 3 miles away all pooped out. Remember what Toby asked Tango the city dog? Yes said Mable the cow, He asked what in tarnations are you doing or running to Tango? And Tango said I don't know, I always run when the door is open to get outside. That's right old George said, And then what did Toby the sheep dog say to Tango the city dog? You don't have to run and get what you already have. Here you have all of the outside all the time so come let's go back I have a nap back on the porch I need to finish. So what's your point old George, asked Charlie? You need to figure out if you are Toby dog or a Tango dog. old George the goat said as he chewed on an old boot he found in the barn. Just then the stable mouse , Mushy runs along the fence railing is he here yet he asks? Yes and no Mable replies Mushy screws up his mouse nose and tries to make sense of Mable says. Don't even bother , says Judy. Mushy notices Rocky and says, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, you are the most wonderful ram I have ever met, you never ram me over. You are as kind to me as the shepherd is. The way I look at you is that your kindness is love and we all know that all love comes from the shepherd. So when you love me he is loving me. Rocky the ram eyes begin to tear up. You mean I get to be a part of the shepherd and all he is when I love others? Yep he is in you and you are smack dab in him. So that is what the old goat meant when he said of Charlie that the shepherd was here when Charlie showed me kindness. You got that right.said Mushy Even right now look how much we are enjoying loving the shepherd even though he is down there on that rock at the same time he is right here in our hearts and we get to love him and be loved. The shepherd got up, stretched and walked up to the animals in the farm yard. He said you already know don't you? The animals looked at each other and they did know. Tell me then,said the shepherd Judy the sheep said, All the time we know we belong to you Rocky the ram said . All the time we know you care what is happening to us. Mushy the mouse said, All the time we are never a part from you even though we can't see you. And most of all, the shepherd asks , WE ARE LOVED, LOVED, LOVED! Said all the animals together OH YES YOU ARE , AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE. COME HERE, AND HE HUGGED THEM ALL AND WINKED AT THE OLD GOAT WHO WAS SMILING chewing on an old boot in sunnyest spot in the farmyard.