Toby and Susie Cupcake

Every Summer for the last couple years I would write a story for the one or two young teens that attended church. I happened to find a copy of such a story and throw it in for fun.



Toby Listened From a hidden position outside the city hall window.
For there was no way a room full of State patrol Officers would let a fourteen year old teenager in on rescuing the beautiful Susie cupcake. Who was Toby’s true love being held hostage by 3 bad, gnarly dudes in the last house up past Tom and Minnie’s.
Toby listened as they made plans for an all side’s assault including launching shells from a homeland security boats. But for now they had to wait until a sergeant flew in from Juneau and the fog was thick.
Stuffed shirts and biggy wiggys, Toby thought, by the time they get their act together his beautiful Susie Cupcake will be shot and the Bad guys gone.
Not to mention the mess they will leave in the house, and Toby knew all too well the woman who lived there and she don’t cotton to messy bad guys.
Well, Toby said to himself, if it’s got to be done and done right leave it Toby . This he thought as he crawled away from the city Hall fiasco.
Toby made his way to his secret fort where he opened the padlock to an old army foot locker that held his arsenal of needed equipment.
For this mission he would need 3 smoke bombs, 6 sets of 15 firecrackers, 39 bottle rockets taped into sets of 5 and 6 seal bombs. A package of small birthday candles, roll of duct tape,mcgyver knife and a lighter, crammed into his camouflaged ruck sack completed his ensembo.
Jumping on his four wheeler Toby took off to collect some improvised equipment.
First stop the school where he picked up 2 portable tape recorders. Next to Wanda’s clothes line where he grabbed a black shirt and pants that belonged to George.
And last to the fire station where he picked up 2 bull horns.
With all the equipment he needed he went to the telephone booth at the head of the ramp to change .
Into his black ninja outfit thanks to George, it was a little wet and with the help with duct tape he managed to rig them to stay on.
Next to his 4 wheeler where he got a hand full of grease and then to the bathroom at the top of the ramp where he applied the grease to his face.
On the mirror he mapped out his plan of attack.
Sure the bathroom was a greasy mess but he knew Duffy harbor master elite and custodian of the chamber pot would forgive the mess, recognizing that it was all for the good of saving Susie cupcake of pelican.
With plan in mind Toby takes and prepares his arsenal taking the small birthday candles he strips the bottom half of the wax off leaving the wick where he attaches fuses of the fireworks and bottle rockets. Next he yells cop commands onto the tape recorders and last he tapes the triggers of the bull horn to the on position.
Mission ready he takes off.
His first obstacle was the road blocked by the Alaska staters up by the new fuel tanks.
Popping the 4 wheeler in a spin Toby heads back down the hill, goes up past the church past Ken’s and Royce’s and sneaks down the path of the brother’s house.
No one knew this terrain better than Toby he grew up on these bear trails and now even in this dense fog he knew exactly where he was.
On his belly wiggling through fresh bear scat the targeted house now in view.
Toby makes his way to the house setting his explosives, knowing and expecting that at any moment bullets may be flying his way.
Around the house he went trying each window for an entry.
At last lady luck smiled on him as his last window, a bathroom window opened.
Not only was it opened but he could see his heart beat of passion Susie Cupcake gagged and tied to a chair in the living room.
“Those creeps,” Toby thought they are going to pay big time for hurting my Susie cupcake.
And with anger of impending justice and courage of all brave men who have fought before Toby restrains himself.
Checking his watch 3 seconds to detonation, lighting the 3 smoke bombs on short fuses he chucks them to three sides of the house.
And as expected the fire crackers and bottle rockets go off.
He could hear the bad guys breaking the kitchen windows and shooting at their imagined threat.
Toby hoped they wouldn’t hit the tape recorders shouting orders through the bullhorns.
In the midst of this mayhem, holding MacGyver knife in mouth thinking I’m coming Susie cupcake, I’m coming.
Toby opens the bathroom window and dives through head first.
Now even the best of plans has their glitches.
So maybe he hadn’t planned that the bathroom toilette was right under the bathroom window and that the toilette seat was up when he dove head first.
Or that bear scat he was covered with made it extremely difficult to get out.
All I can tell you was,instantly the bad guys were gone, Susie cupcake was gone.
But MOM wasn’t. Instead of a grateful Susie He got the mom with the voice of an angel of death.
What in the blazes are you doing? Get out of that toilette and look what you have done to my freshly painted bathroom, bear scat everywhere.
The house stinks like smoke bombs the dogs is under our bed and your fireworks have caught the fire wood pile on fire and what are you wearing?
All I can say is you better run before I catch you.
So our dejected hero ran for his life. Heading to the garbage dump he thought, this is appropriate I feel in dumps, so I might as well be in one.
Sitting on stump that overlooks the dump, Toby said to GOD” Well here I am, in deep scat once again and like usual there’s no one to help but you.
I never much thought about it GOD, but what if I didn’t have you?
I would be worst off, then I already am,
My friends say I’m weird. They see my goody 2 shoes, do the right thing, be a good church boy.
But hey I’ll take being weird, if I can have you.
They don’t see that it’s more than singing songs, nice people, and good chow after church.
What my friends don’t see is that I have you in me.
And it’s time like this that I really need you.
Our friendship the 2 of us.
GOD you are real, not churchy like they think.
No you make the difference in who I am
The difference that makes us weird.
Hey GOD I think I just called you weird and it’s all right
Besides it’s not like there’s a lot of guys who would hang around a guy dressed in George’s clothes
Held on with duct tape and covered with grease and bear scat.
But you do and you always do.
We may be weird GOD but I’m sticking with you!
Besides Have I told you I love you
I love you for me loving me
And do you think you can do something about me and mom and the mess I made at the house,
no offense but I feel I’m too young to go to Heaven quite yet. If you know what I mean.